Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bill of Jesse Thorne. We're in chambers this week

clearing the docking. And with me is a man with a full head of his own natural hair, Judge John Hodgman.

I have a full head of my own natural hair despite my advanced age.

And what is even stranger? People, when I get on the road again, I can hear our guest

chuckling at me. That's fine. Just chuckle along, guest. I appreciate this feedback. Normally,

I do this without any feedback whatsoever. Just the cold, stony stare of Jesse Thorne.

When we get back on the road again, Jesse Thorne, I'm afraid our audience members and listeners

are going to be concerned. They're going to say, why is John Hodgman wearing that obvious toupee?

Why? Because what toupee? A toupee is a wig. Usually it refers to a wig that an older gentleman might

put on his head to hide his balding head. A wig that covers just the top of your head. Yeah, just

the top, just the top, you know what I mean? Yes, just the top of your head. Right. But you see,

while my beard has aged gracefully into its appropriate wizard gray, there's not a single gray

hair on my head hair. And now looks fake compared to the rest of my hair. But this is my natural hair.

Do you accept this? No. All right. Well, you are the judge as well as I. I'm going to let Jesse

introduce you in a moment, Mr. E. Guest. Because I know what court is is where the judge slams the

hammer and then they finally say guilty. Well, sometimes they say not guilty. Let's hope. But yes,

they make a ruling and they slam the hammer a lot. They slam the hammy also known as Gavall.

This is Judge John Hodgman. But as you can tell, it is a special episode of Judge John Hodgman,

not merely a return to juvenile court, where finally young people are given their day in court.

But a special episode because we welcome a special guest judge. Very rare. Very rare to have a

guest judge. We've had guest bailiffs, but a guest judge. This is the first. And it makes sense

because this person, not only his wise, segacious, thoughtful and owns his own Gavall, but also

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