Moment 189: This Is The Real Reason You Can't Change Your Life: Doctor Alok Kanojia

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

FlightStory

Society & Culture, Business, Education

4.6 • 13.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2024

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this moment, world-leading men’s mental health coach and psychiatrist, Dr K discusses the ways people try and fail to put trauma behind them as well as the REAL way to overcome it. Most people who have a history of trauma will try and overcompensate in the way they build their future lives. For instance, people can try to overcome the trauma of bullying by becoming invisible or becoming successful to overcoming past shame. However, no matter what people do to adapt to the historic trauma, it still remains in the mind. This can be seen in peoples responses to events that trigger memories of their past trauma. Instead of this overcompensation, Dr K says that you need to dismantle your worldview by slowing down the mind and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. He believes that this awareness is a superpower that everyone is ignoring, as the more aware you are in the present moment, the more your problems fade away. Listen to the full episode here - Spotify- https://g2ul0.app.link//Y3cK1DDNTOb Apple - https://g2ul0.app.link//nbunQIHNTOb Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/%20TheDiaryOfACEO/videos Dr Alok: https://www.healthygamer.gg/dr-alok-kanojia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	No amount of fixing your life will make that kid go away.
0:09.8	Right?
0:10.4	So like when I work with people who are, I see you smiling.
0:13.3	So like when I work with people who have been traumatized, they will build amazing lives,
0:17.7	but they still carry that kid with them. And the kid will come out at times.
0:24.7	There'll be particular times where if I'm a little bit, like if I like treat you in the wrong way,
0:29.8	like you'll notice that you feel like that kid again. When you're idle, you feel like that kid again.
0:33.9	So that psychological, that neuronal wiring is there. So you can build all this
0:40.3	wonderful stuff. And there's authenticity. It's not like you're faking it. This is a really common
0:43.5	misconception that are you faking? No, you're genuinely confident. You're genuinely authentic. You can't
0:48.0	fake it and get to where you are. And at the same time, the wounds that we experience leave scars.
0:54.0	Yeah, 100%.
0:56.0	And the real way to heal is to go back to that moment and like deal with that kid, right?
1:02.0	You have to dismantle the worldview that you have, which is how you heal trauma.
1:06.0	Is when we get traumatized, we adapt.
1:09.0	In order to come out of this situation, I need to learn this particular thing.
1:14.9	So some kids that I've worked with adapt by becoming invisible. That's what I did. I got bullied a lot.
1:20.3	So what do I do? I learn how to be invisible. Some people adapt by being successful.
1:25.8	So if I'm successful, it's an antidote to my shame.
1:29.2	I don't have to be ashamed anymore if I'm successful.
1:31.7	But that old injury is still there.
1:34.3	Yeah.
	...

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