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Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard

#104: "Sam Fights at Skankfest" + Praising Cum Town + Satanic ****phile Cult Busted

Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard

Johnny Woodard

News, News Commentary, Comedy, Stand-up, Politics

4.92.3K Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2023

⏱️ 143 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sam recaps his INSANE weekend at Skankfest, which included fighting, watching Off-the-Grid Ryan meet his Cum Town idol, getting Kurt Metzger's take on Noah, and loads more. Also this week we learn an interesting fact about Satanic Temple founder Lucien Greaves and look back on the good times we had at All Things Comedy. Also, people in the Pentagon are worried UFOs might be demons.

More stuff: Get episodes early, and unedited, plus bonus episodes: www.rokfin.com/brokensimulation or www.patreon.com/brokensimulation

Watch Broken Simulation: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCob18bx1jaU1HYPCPNRnyog

Social media: Twitter: @fatdragonpro, @johnnywoodard Instagram: @samtripoli, @johnnyawoodard

The outro song is "Growing Growing Gone" by Fastball. Listen to it at www.patreon.com/fastball!

Want to see Sam live? Visit www.samtripoli.com for tickets!

Broken Simulation Hosts: Sam Tripoli, Johnny Woodard

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

We're in it. That's it. That's the beginning of it. I had to start to show because I'm freaking Johnny's singing Will Smith songs. I'll get into you with it. He was jigging and it was unjiggy. It was very unjiggy.

0:28.0

Please stop. No, I will not get jiggy with it. I'm over these bugs too. Come on man. It's so funny Johnny. Like like it's okay. So I take my kids to this pool to take get pool lessons right and they love to swim.

0:45.0

But like I'll be in the water and I'll see a bug like struggling in the water and I'll like get a little floaty lifted out put to some like there you go. Live little bug at my house. I'm the Hitler of insects. I am I am committing genocide against anything that's a bug. I can I do not I burned out my whole house. I put them outside. I don't know. They'll be a spiders. I don't consider them part of that. I will save spiders. But

1:15.0

bugs. You're dead. Okay. You're dead. I mean, we have around here. One time I hit it with the broom and it took the broom for me and hit me. Oh, that's that's the kind of roaches. We have big roaches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's John Kepper. Let's say the cockroaches shrugging off. They shrugging off. Right. Oh god. Johnny. Johnny. Have you ever said like if you go to hell? What is the song that will will play in your head? We'll play in hell for

1:45.0

forever. Do you have a good question? Go tell me yours. Oh, baby shark is for sure. Well, hot my nightmare. Maybe. If you're having children, keep it away. For as long as you can, people like do not play that around your kids. It will never stop. And it's like, it's like just venom. It's it just gets into them and takes over. So today, one thing I've been really enjoying, Johnny, is teaching my daughter's music. I want them to hear some cool music. Yeah, that's great. We've been through some stuff. They really love it.

2:15.0

They're like, Abba, Abba's not mine, but Abba's not that bad too. Like it's it's it's really cool to say like for some reason. Like the 70s music is like kids music. Now it's upbeat. Yeah. It's positive. You can like you just introduce them to all. Here's some, you know, back in the day, people were going to night clubs doing Coke and listening to this, but now in 2023, you can just hang out. No, it's because three years. Kids have that coke energy. That's what it is. One of them. One hundred percent. One hundred percent. So I was playing. So today, I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to

2:45.0

play. I want to introduce them to Leonard Skinner, right? A little Southern rock, bro. Come on, man. If I give my kids in a layer of scurred they're already better than 90% of children out there. If they're like, he like, daddy, play. I'm like, bang, let's go. Good kids. I did my job. If I got my kids in the Freiber to three years old, I could literally abandon them and still be considered a good fight. At one point, do you tell them what actually happened to that band. They can find out and they're on their way. I was like, what? What? What? What? What? What point do you tell them at what actually happened to that band? They can find out in their own.

3:15.0

We don't need to know that Johnny. You're like the one who tells like you're like the you like the person who tells all the kids on the block

3:20.6

The sanity is it real? Okay, let them find it out on their own. I would never do that. Let them find it out on their own

3:26.2

It's just a dark Google wanted. I love Skinner

3:29.2

I wonder if we can go see them sometime with daddy. Yeah, what are you personally? Oh

3:35.8

But they shredded bro, so I'm like, okay, let's get in some free bird

3:39.7

Let's get in some free bird because when free bird shreds it shreds

3:45.0

Right, so I play a little free bird suddenly ninja. Okay, these sides. She doesn't want to listen to free bird and she starts cranking

3:57.8

Baby shark. I

3:59.8

Mean literally crank where you got in the car. We're in the car

4:02.9

And I'm like, so I turned up a little bit. I'm like, okay. All right a little little what's she planning on?

4:08.4

I know they're little tabs. Okay, and now we're both fighting over a ghost attention

4:15.2

And like dude, Leonard Skinner

4:17.9

Free bird lost the baby shark. They were just I saw my daughter dancing the baby shark

4:23.5

I'm like, oh, this is a dark day in the triply household

4:26.8

I'm still thinking about that song. I really one song that I and it won't bother anybody else probably

...

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