112: Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Safe: Understanding the 'Not Enough' Wound With Vanessa Bennett

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Mental Health, Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 4.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2024

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sabrina, alongside her guest Vanessa Bennett, dives deep into the complexities of the “not enough” wound and its impact on attachment styles, hyper-independence, and relationships. Vanessa, a Holistic Psychotherapist, shares insights from her professional and personal journey, highlighting how societal conditioning often instills feelings of unworthiness.

Sabrina and Vanessa explore how hyper-independence and codependency are two sides of the same coin, both rooted in attempts to soothe the worthiness wound in different ways. Sabrina draws from her own experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and embracing discomfort as essential steps in healing.

The conversation touches on the interplay between emotional unavailability and intimacy, as well as the role of micro-moments in building a solid sense of self. They also discuss the nuances of conflict resolution, effective communication, and creating safe relationships that foster growth. Sabrina and Vanessa encourage listeners to navigate their healing journeys with intention and compassion.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show. My name is
0:06.5	Sabrina Zohar and I am your host. Okay, guys, we're getting closer and closer to the end of the
0:12.0	year. It's crazy. It's crazy. But today, I'm so excited. We have a fellow New Yorker, Vanessa
0:17.4	Bennett. I am obsessed with her. She's fucking amazing. And today we talk about the
0:21.7	not enough wound and really the hyper independence. And I think a lot of people are like,
0:26.0	I'm not hyper independent. And it's like, no, no, no, no. It's the flip side of codependency, right?
0:30.4	The more avoidant leaning people. And I think we want to have a conversation about different
0:34.2	types of ways that attachment styles manifest. And I think this is a really
0:37.9	great one to understand that hyper independence and that more avoidance side of things so that we can
0:41.8	understand how other people operate, right? Because I think it's a beautiful place. So guys,
0:45.6	I'm super excited. Thank you to everybody. As always, please don't forget, rate and review the
0:49.2	show, share it with a friend, put in a Facebook group, send it to your mom, your cousins, your uncles, whoever. It means the world and it helps us grow the community. So I'm just so grateful you guys can watch
0:57.6	on YouTube or listen. And don't forget, send in screenshots, email us in the trenches at
1:02.8	Sabrinazohar.com. The new series starts next year. We're going to have so much fun. It's an AMA
1:06.9	every one Tuesday every month for now. Maybe it will be two. And we're going to answer your questions. So if you don't want to pay to have a question answered, great. Send us in the screenshots.
1:14.2	Let us know what's going on. Again, in the trenches at Sabrinazohar.com, we are going to have
1:18.1	episodes next year, and we need your help.
1:28.7	We need you guys to write in.
1:29.7	So please send us all that.
1:31.0	If you need anything, as always, link in show notes.
1:33.1	You can shop the sponsors that are helping us keep the show alive, join any of the courses.
1:38.5	As you guys know, I'm going to be taking less people next year, working one-on-one because I'm writing a book and doing so many fun new things. So the courses are there. They're self-guided and they have all the resources and you get unlimited access for life.
	...

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