#123: You Know What Dad (@RobertKelly)

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2013

⏱️ 181 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Robert Kelly invited me over to his beautiful Manhattan apartment so we could talk about becoming a father. He had his first son 45 days ago and we had a nice discussion about what it was like. It was nice for me to hear how a former degenerate like Robert could transform himself into the type of dad that won't get child services called on him.

Transcript

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0:00.0	We decided to have a baby and then we fucked and that was crazy.
0:05.4	That was a crazy experience for me.
0:07.1	Because the fucking wasn't about?
0:08.9	The fucking was to make a life.
0:10.8	Yeah.
0:11.8	So when I came, I got, it's like, I'm going to grow something.
0:17.4	I never grew a tomato.
0:19.1	I never mind a fucking baby in a fucking vagina.
0:23.6	Yeah.
0:24.0	So when I came, the possibility that something fucking amazing
0:29.4	was happening with something from my body and another
0:33.7	human being's body was fucking crazy weird to me.
0:38.1	You are a fucking real pro.
0:59.4	It's like swimming through butter.
1:11.2	That's what I was like.
1:12.2	This is how people talk in the future.
1:14.0	In the humid future, this is what will happen to our voice boxes.
1:18.2	But then everyone would be like, come cool with it.
1:20.6	So let's be like, hey, hey, Margaret, hey, with him, how you doing?
1:28.2	I'm good.
1:29.9	And then they wouldn't really have anything to talk about.
1:33.1	Because everyone's voice is a beat too.
	...

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