Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.

It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids.

Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three decades of experience, and the author of three

New York Times best-selling parenting

books takes your questions.

Both of us are moms ourselves, and we're eager to hear from you.

So send us your questions to ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

And you can join our community by following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

The handle is at Lisa Podcast. And also subscribe to our

brand new YouTube channel, Ask Lisa Podcast. Episode 134, my son and his friends use slurs. Can I stop this?

You know, one of the things that's always surprised me that you said, we did an episode once

of a kid who kind of got canceled at school for something racial that he had posted. And you were

like, he's going to just have to up and leap. And I was shocked. You said that. But I kind of feel

it's often unfair when you talk about teens because they're so rash about

things and not thinking clearly and don't have the life experience that they can just get

canceled over things like that.

They can.

And when I think about that episode, you know, I don't think it was like the only thing I thought

could happen, but I thought it was something that could happen where he may need to start

over, you know, depending on the broader context of what was going on in that

moment. So teens can be very rigid with one another about acceptable and unacceptable

behavior. But also, your teenage years, you should be able to have do-overs. And so much of what you tell us is about having these conversations early and often and that you say, I promise you, it'll sink in.

...