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Adult Child

153 - When Shame Becomes Our Identity: Toxic Shame & Scapegoat Abuse

Adult Child

Andrea

Relationships, Health & Fitness, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.91.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2024

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When shame becomes one's identity... this is what we call toxic shame.

Toxic shame is the deeply ingrained sense of be inherently flawed and unlovable and is the core wound of an adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families.

Key Takeaways:

  • Recognizing the difference between healthy shame and toxic shame
  • The internalization process that causes shame to go from being an emotion we experience to an identity
  • What happens when our true self goes into hiding (shameful acting out vs shameless acting in)
  • Scapegoat abuse and it's pervasive impact to the formation of self
  • How to heal the shame that binds you through the externalization process (first and second order change)

EP 90 - Family Scapegoat Abuse w/ Rebecca Mandeville

Barb Nangle's Your Empowered Life 8-week transformational semi-private coaching program for women so you can be authentic with yourself and others.

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️

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How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 Brians

THE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult Child

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If you say shit to yourself, you'd never say to others, second-guess yourself and never had a healthy romantic relationship

0:08.3

where you feel cherished and loved, I've got just the thing for you.

0:12.1

Hi, I'm Barb Nangel, Boundaries Coach, and three-time guest on the pod.

0:16.2

If that's you, you have got to apply for your empowered life.

0:21.0

This is my eight-week transformational semi-private program for women so you can learn how to show up as the woman you've always wanted to be.

0:29.2

You'll get tools to create healthy communication and relationships,

0:32.8

feel like a sturdier woman who can say no without a flood of guilt and shame,

0:38.0

you'll learn how to create satisfying healthy relationships

0:41.0

with yourself and others others and trust yourself.

0:45.2

If you want to be authentic with yourself and others and no longer worry about what others think of

0:49.8

you, this program is for you. Apply by March 20th at higher power CC.com slash empowered life or at the link in the show notes

0:59.5

Shame corrods the part of us that believes we are capable of change. My name is Andrea and

1:05.9

this is adult child. Welcome back to adult

1:14.7

to adult. Welcome back to a

1:24.7

to a adult child where we take a deep dive into the impact of growing up in a

1:28.6

dysfunctional family. Ahoy my dear shichos. For any new listeners my name is Andrea. I am a complete and

1:37.6

total shit show. I'm a recovering alcoholic. I am a recovering adult child.

1:43.4

I realize this when I hit the most painful bottom

1:46.7

of my entire life with nine years of sobriety,

1:49.4

when I realized, hey, alcoholism isn't really

1:51.8

your root problem, girl. it actually turns out that you

1:54.4

experienced trauma during your childhood and it actually turns out that what you are

...

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