My mentor’s name was Mr. Winton. He was my mentor for the last 20 years of his life and his wisdom helped change mine. One of his greatest lessons was a lesson on envy. He told me “Pamela, you’re truly successful when you can celebrate the success of others as much as you celebrate your own.” It’s taken almost all of those 20 years for me to understand and live that lesson.



My second mentor was Jim Rohn. I listened to his teachings called “The Art of Exceptional Living” on repeat for 2 solid years. Jim taught me, “If you help enough other people get what they want, you can have everything you want.”



My third mentor was Zig Ziglar. Zig taught me, “To get what you want, help others get what they want.”



And you know what … all 3 of my mentors were right. My focus on self would only hold me back. My jealousy of others would limit my own potential. I’m created to love, celebrate and champion others, and so are you!



But that’s not easy. There’s a whole lot of our flesh that gets in the way and makes us feel threatened by the success and happiness of others. But I’ve come to fully understand that my God is not limited on blessings. What he gives me does not take from you. My success does not have to come at the cost of yours. Your happiness doesn’t have to suck from mine. This competition we’re secretly in only hurts all of us.



Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”We may be rotting from the inside out and not even realize it. The source of the destruction … envy. A feeling of discontentment because of what someone else has or does. And I don’t care how sweet and kind you are my darling, seeds of envy and jealousy have been planted in your heart somewhere along the way.



And it may sound like this:



Her husband is so loving and attentive … I sure wish mine was like that.



Her children behave, they don’t draw penis’ on the wall or eat their buggers in public – that must be nice.



She’s on the same diet and somehow she lost 15 pounds this month – what the what … I’m still stuck on the first 3 pounds. That’s so frustrating.



Her life just seems magical … and mine just seems miserable.



You don’t wish her harm, but hey let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she had a really bad hair day when you were looking top notch for once.



This is all completely normal. We all battle these fleeting thoughts and feelings. AND IT’S ROTTING OUR BONES. From the inside out, it ruins the fullness of who we were created to be. It’s crippling us.



Let me ask a few questions:• Could envy and jealousy be the root of your anxiety?• Could that tinge of jealousy be responsible for your unhappiness?• Could those fleeting thoughts of “gosh if she posts one more positive thing on facebook today I’m gonna barf” be a thief of your own joy?



Answer: YES YES and YES.



We all battle it – some more graciously than others. And here’s the big kicker – thoughts of jealousy and envy aren’t always targeted towards “her”. They’re often targeted towards him. Yes, him. All you married ladies listening, you may be jealous of your husband. This jealousy is eating away at you and your marriage from within.



Why does he get to get dressed every day and just walk out the door and leave this mess behind?Why does he get to have a fulfilling job?Why does he get to go out to lunch?Then he comes home and does nothing.How dare he complain when I ask him to take out the trash.