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PRETEND

2012: I Married a Narcissist part 2 Listener Reactions

PRETEND

Javier Leiva

True Crime, Society & Culture, Technology

4.72.2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

After publishing the story of a woman trapped in a marriage with a narcissist, I wasn't sure how it would land. It wasn’t flashy. It didn’t end in violence or arrest. But the response was overwhelming. Listeners wrote in to say, “That was me.” Some still carry the trauma years later. Others are just now realizing what they went through was abuse. In this episode, we hear from listeners who saw their own relationships reflected in Ashley’s story. We also speak with criminal behavior analyst Laura Richards to understand how abuse often hides in plain sight—through gaslighting, coercive control, and emotional manipulation. And we ask: what happens when the narcissist isn’t a partner—but a parent? Or when the survivor is a man? This bonus episode is about the quiet kind of abuse—the kind people are afraid to talk about but desperately need to hear. 🔊 Featuring: Laura Richards and listeners who bravely shared their experiences ⚠️ Trigger warning: discussions of abuse, addiction, and coercive control 🛑 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse: Love-bombing followed by emotional withdrawal or cruelty Gaslighting: making you doubt your memory, emotions, or reality Blaming you for their self-harm threats or emotional instability Constant criticism or belittling over mundane issues Financial control or sabotage Isolating you from family or friends Guilt-tripping, triangulation, or passive-aggressive threats Refusing accountability or twisting facts during arguments 📌 If you’re in a similar situation, here are resources that can help: National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 or thehotline.org — 24/7, free, confidential Psychology Today Therapist Finder: psychologytoday.com SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – for substance abuse and mental health support Domestic Shelters: domesticshelters.org – helps identify resources near you One Mom’s Battle: onemomsbattle.com – for navigating high-conflict custody and divorce Love is Respect: loveisrespect.org – support for young people in abusive relationships Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Creative Babble.

0:07.0

Previously on Pretend, I shared a story of a woman that we called Ashley and how she got out of an emotionally abusive relationship.

0:17.0

Here's the barbecue sauce that needs to go here. Right.

0:21.6

This one is empty.

0:22.6

You told me to take her upstairs.

0:26.6

No, I didn't.

0:27.6

You did.

0:28.6

I said, could you just take care of her while I take care of this?

0:31.6

And now instead of taking care of her, you're staying here holding her with your phone and videotaping me. I am because I've asked you

0:40.5

repeatedly to eat something because you have low blood sugar. Ashley recorded hours and hours of

0:46.3

footage of her husband mansplaining how to load the dishwasher, how to arrange the fridge,

0:52.3

how to make dinner, ridiculousiculous arguments that seem mundane

0:56.6

until you have to listen to hours of it. I didn't play many of the clips because this man's

1:02.7

tone enrages me. Oh, I'm videotaping you. Oh, you're acting like an idiot. I did not say that

1:09.7

that you're putting words in my mouth.

1:11.6

Hey, you know what?

1:12.4

I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing

1:14.8

because there's nothing you can do against what I'm doing.

1:18.6

I'm not saying that makes me seem crazy.

1:21.0

So, oh no, no, you're standing in here videotaping me.

1:25.4

Because you don't understand what it's like when you blow blood sugar.

1:28.9

You do not understand. Hung up this morning while I was fucking mopping the fucking floor and doing the

...

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