Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written

by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I

wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello everybody, welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet the podcast where we read the

worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm X-T. I'm X-A-N-D. How are you? I'm good. How

are you? Great. Thank you. Can't wait to talk about EOTS. EOTS. For the next couple episodes,

I would like to give a general warning to we're already, you know, mature audience only 18 plus

whatever. But these are special around the holiday season. You might not care if your children

hear cursing, but you might care if their childhood dreams, magical dreams are ruined.

Are shattered into a million pieces. So by two people you've never met. Please don't let us

be the ones to do that. I don't want to do that. If you want to keep the holiday magic,

the Christmas magic specifically alive for your children, why don't just go to a different,

go to the strip club episode and listen to that. True, true, that's a good one. Yeah, so that's

a great warning, Elson. Yeah, good idea. Thank you. Thank you. Because we're reading reviews of

Elf on the shelf and we're getting into the nitty, gritty, Elfie truth. And you got to know

it's gritty. It is so gritty. Do you want me to explain what Elf on the shelf is?

Yeah, I will say I have quite a long review that multiple people sent in that I do you have

this one? It's like ridiculously long. No. So this the one that I'm going to start with is that

long one and it definitely gives a good good understanding of what it is. But I think if you give

a description first, that's probably better. Okay, so it's a book published in 2005. The Elf on

the shelf, a Christmas tradition. And it's a story about an Elf and it comes with an Elf, a little

toy Elf thing. And basically the concept is you put the Elf in a certain spot. Your kid tells

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