282: “Who Am I Now?” Matrescence and Identity Crises After Becoming a Mom with Psychotherapist Elizabeth Baron

Conversations with Cam

Dear Media

Motherhood, Cameronrogers, Freckledfoodie, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Nutrition, Parenting

4.7 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I sit down with Elizabeth Baron, a maternal mental health psychotherapist, to discuss all things matrescence: the physical and psychological changes that come from being a mother. Elizabeth shares the history of the term, how matrescence is a long-term journey, and how overwhelming feelings of ambivalence can play a role. We talk about the “apology tour” of motherhood, the range of experiences that can come from matrescence, and why grief over leaving your pre-motherhood life is natural. She also shares why the four to six month postpartum mark is often significant for mothers, what the “Ghost in the Nursery” paper reveals about reparenting ourselves, how we can allow our children to become who they are, and more.

Key Takeaway / Points:

On matrescence, what it means, and the history of the term
On matrescence being a long-term journey
On ambivalence, the constant push-pull, and the shame that comes from it
On the “apology tour” of motherhood
On the range of experiences that come out of matrescence
On the unrealistic image of the perfect mother
On the grief that comes with leaving your pre-motherhood life
On the scientific data from studying matrescence
Why the four-six month postpartum mark is often significant for mothers
On the comparison culture that has tainted our expectations for ourselves
On the “Ghost in the Nursery” paper and reparenting ourselves
On parenting your children individually
On allowing our children become who they are
On the reconciliation process in motherhood
How Elizabeth fills her cup

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:05.8	Come on in, take a seat, pour a drink, pass one to me, conversations with care, talk to life, come join the fair, throw away your hesitations. I'm a filter conversations.
0:22.3	If you've got to let, here's conversations with Cam.
0:31.1	Welcome back to another episode of Conversations with Cam.
0:34.9	Thank you for being here.
0:36.5	I feel very passionately about today's
0:40.3	episode and today's like it's something I have talked about a lot on my platforms, whether it be
0:47.7	Instagram, TikTok or this podcast. It's something I converse with tons of you in my DMs about.
0:53.3	And it is top of mind in many conversations
0:56.0	with my friends outside of social media because so many of us, myself included, go through this
1:03.6	identity crisis slash shift after having a kid where you're like, who the fuck am I? Like literally who am I now? What do I care
1:13.4	about? What do I do with my time? What are my hobbies? What's even a hobby? What do I wear?
1:17.5	The list is endless and it is so real and legitimate of an experience that is such a shared experience
1:27.3	for many of us. But I don't think
1:29.3	we ever really dive into the why does this happen and what is it? And am I losing my mind or
1:35.7	is this real? And it turns out we're not losing our minds. This is very real. There is a term for it.
1:41.2	As you will learn in this episode, it's metrescence. And that focuses on the shift from
1:47.5	being an individual into becoming a mother and what happens throughout that shift and how you do
1:54.1	transform into a legitimate different version of yourself. And it can be confusing for so many
2:00.6	and also wonderfully groundbreaking
2:03.4	and so many mixed emotions in between. And we kind of dive into all of that today. Today's guest
2:09.1	is Elizabeth Barron, a licensed psychotherapist with a primary focus on maternal mental health.
	...

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