298: Merry Cystmas
The Scummy Mummies Podcast
Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorn
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 17 December 2024
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Time for the filthiest, silliest and sweariest episode of the year - it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Podcast!
We are joined by our old friends Miserable Steve, Nurse Jessie and Sam Pamphilon. We discuss our highs and lows of 2024, and find out what Steve means when he talks about getting his balls drained.
Of course, our festive Scummy traditions return - join us as we wish Linda a happy birthday, and find out if Jessie has a new job. Plus: who will win this year's Ham Review?
There's a hilarious story about not defrosting some gammon, a warning about the dangers of Chinese laxative tea, and a deep dive into the origins of our 2024 slogan, "No tuna, no vape." And not one, but two stupid quizzes!
We also share the strongest Scummy Mummy Confession we heard this year, and enjoy a heated and graphic debate about the best way to unblock a toilet.
Trigger warnings: sexual deviancy, toilet "humour", guinea pig death/exhumation.
Ellie used Felicity Cloake's ham recipe, while Helen went with one by Sarah Rossi. Her brilliant book, What's for Christmas Dinner?, is out now.
Thank you for listening. And a special shoutout to all those who have listened to every episode of our podcast for the last 11 bloody years. We really appreciate your support and tolerance. As always, this Christmas Special is for you.
See you in 2025 with our brand new show, Hot Mess, and massive UK tour! Some tickets on sale now via scummymummies.com.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, lots of love from Helen and Ellie xxx
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Jessie and Lenny Ware from Tablemanners and we're currently sponsored by Deliveroo. |
| 0:05.5 | And we've got something important to share with you today. Let's call it a public service announcement. |
| 0:10.4 | If you're in a tight spot this festive season and you're in need of a quick gift, say you've forgotten to pick something up for Secret Santa and your friends are due over in the next hour, then Deliveroo is the |
| 0:22.2 | place to go. They've got loads of different places to choose gifts from, gift sets from |
| 0:26.6 | boots or even some beautiful flowers from your local florist. It's amazing and your order |
| 0:32.7 | can be delivered in as little as 25 minutes. Get gifts fast from the shops you love with Deliveroo, subject to availability, |
| 0:40.0 | geographical restrictions, service, delivery fees and full terms apply. |
| 0:43.9 | Delivery times may vary. |
| 0:45.5 | See a website or an app for current delivery estimates. |
| 0:50.6 | Steve, could you kick off the podcast as you and how you went to my house tonight, please? |
| 0:56.9 | Off the window? |
| 0:57.8 | No, with your, what did you say? |
| 0:59.4 | It's Christmas. |
| 1:01.3 | Yeah, I feel like give it more rump than that. |
| 1:03.3 | I just save my voice. |
| 1:04.5 | Okay, go on. |
| 1:06.4 | Well, another one. |
| 1:07.1 | Yeah. |
| 1:07.8 | That was a bit short. |
| 1:09.5 | I'm on the spot, no, no, I don't want to. |
| 1:12.0 | Or just, |
| 1:12.5 | this is a voice tester |
... |
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