355. The Role of Urges in Parenting & Being Parented
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 15 August 2024
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Parenting can be a real trip, right? We spend so much time telling our kids what to do and how to behave. But what happens when they grow up and don't need us to micromanage their lives anymore? It can be tough to let go of that control.
Here's the thing - even as our kids are become more independent, our brains may still hold onto that urge to guide them. In this episode, I dive into why these urges exist and how they affect our relationships with our children and parents. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's go!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/355
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | When you're a parent of young kids, you spend a lot of time explaining to them how to do, well, everything. |
| 0:06.7 | As they get older, it's natural for that dynamic to change. |
| 0:10.3 | But if we know one thing about how brains work, it's that they don't change magically just because the circumstance changes. |
| 0:16.0 | I believe the brain habits we develop when parenting small children is one source of conflict with or alienation from our children as they get older. |
| 0:25.0 | And in this episode I'm going to explain the phenomenon and teach you how to start changing it. |
| 0:29.0 | This is going to be really important whether you are a parent or whether you had parents or |
| 0:33.2 | caregivers so pretty much for all of us to understand. So let's get into it. |
| 0:38.8 | Welcome to UnFuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowenthyle, master certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thop. |
| 0:47.0 | I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go. |
| 1:00.0 | Hello my friends, how are you all? I am recording this on a Monday and that means I spent the weekend with my stepkids and one of the most hilarious things about parenting I find is all the things you end up saying out loud that you |
| 1:14.5 | never thought you would have to say. Like don't spit on the plants that's not how we |
| 1:19.2 | water them or no you can't use the wine glasses as a xylophone. |
| 1:24.0 | Anyone who has spent time parenting or caregiving for a small child knows that you spend a lot of time giving verbal correction or instruction. |
| 1:32.0 | You are constantly having to tell your children to |
| 1:34.3 | wash their hands to stop liking that fire hydrant, to stop pinching their |
| 1:38.0 | sibling. They need your help with the most basic things. How to pour water |
| 1:41.8 | into a cup, how to wash their hands, how to make a sandwich. And not only that, but your kids ask for your opinion and your wisdom all the time when they're little. They believe you know everything and they ask you all kinds of questions. |
| 1:54.0 | Why is the sky blue? How many penguins are there in the world? How does electricity work? |
| 1:58.0 | They will ask you anything because they assume that you know. |
| 2:02.0 | And we know that your brain learned certain ways of thinking through habit. |
| 2:06.9 | Sometimes that's on purpose, like if you are in the Feminist Self-Help Society |
| 2:10.8 | and you work with me and you're choosing your thoughts on purpose and deciding what to think intentionally. |
... |
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