4.2 • 82.9K Ratings
🗓️ 8 July 2021
⏱️ 59 minutes
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0:00.0 | Hello everybody, GoonTog greetings from Europe. I am sitting in my hotel room right now with an |
0:15.7 | oat milk cappuccino extra from I just said froth and foam together. It's a new fucking thing |
0:25.1 | because I am way too good for Starbucks now. I am a cultured queen with a K just kidding. I am |
0:33.7 | the most fucking hated person at this hotel right now, but we will get into that in a minute. So |
0:39.6 | I landed in Austria on Friday and I just want to start off by saying the people in Vienna, Austria |
0:48.5 | are so fucking hot. I thought I was on the set of a movie. Just the hottest men I've ever seen in |
0:57.4 | my entire life, the type of dudes that make you wish you were traveling alone and you could act |
1:06.0 | on it. You know what I'm saying? And so well dressed. I forgot how casual and disheveled it's okay |
1:14.4 | to look in America. I was the only bitch wearing Lulu lemon leggings in a hundred mile radius. |
1:22.4 | I did not bring my uggs though so everybody settle the fuck down. Then after getting ran out of |
1:29.9 | Austria, I flew to Geneva for wedding. The actual wedding took place in this remote town on the |
1:38.4 | border of France and Switzerland. Rich people shit. It was magical. And now I am in Switzerland, |
1:48.5 | which is somewhere that I've been wanting to go forever. I save every fucking Instagram travel |
1:56.8 | video I see from Switzerland. And I just got to say Switzerland is kind of creeping me out. |
2:04.7 | Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful. It's I think it's just almost too perfect. And I'm trying |
2:14.0 | to explain it. You look outside your window and it's hills of green and there's cows and the cows |
2:21.8 | are even gorgeous. There's little cute cottages. It looks like a postcard. And it's so fucking quiet |
2:29.9 | also too quiet. Silence of the lambs vibes. And I just keep thinking there has to be a crazed |
2:39.5 | maniac that's about to jump out at me behind a stack of hay or some shit. It's probably my fault |
2:46.0 | honestly because I love to freak myself out. It started in Austria. I was ordering a |
2:54.7 | weiner schnitzel. And just based on word association, I started to think of |
3:01.9 | fritzel. Schnitzel, fritzel. He popped into my head. If any of you guys are into true crime, |
... |
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