389. Why & How to Be Extraordinary (Yes I’m Talking to You) (Greatest Hits)
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 10 April 2025
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What does it really mean to be extraordinary—and why does it feel so uncomfortable to even ask that question? In this week’s episode, I’m unpacking the way society trains women and marginalized people to fear their own greatness. We’re taught that wanting more—more impact, more growth, more self-expression—is selfish or arrogant. And in times like these, when the world feels like it’s sliding backward, that message gets even louder: stay quiet, don’t make waves, be content with “good enough.”
But now is exactly when we need to lean into our power. Tune in to learn why being extraordinary has nothing to do with fame or visibility—and everything to do with how deeply you commit to your values, your purpose, and your own full expression.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/389
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, my friends. So I chose this greatest hits or replay to share this week really deliberately |
| 0:06.6 | because this episode is all about being extraordinary. And that is something that I find that |
| 0:13.6 | people socialize as women and marginalized people struggle with a lot because we are not socialized |
| 0:18.4 | to believe that we can be extraordinary. And in fact, |
| 0:21.9 | we're socialized to believe it's arrogant to think we can. And it's somehow sort of selfish to even |
| 0:27.1 | want to be. And that just by virtue of trying to be great or extraordinary, we are putting |
| 0:34.2 | ourselves above other people and insulting other people. And that in order to not do that, we should not try to sort of rise above our station. |
| 0:44.6 | Right. And I think it's even more important these days because what we're seeing is a kind of social regression on gender equality, on LGBTQIA rights, on the status |
| 1:00.3 | of the most marginalized people in our community, the undocumented, people of color, women. |
| 1:05.4 | And that social retrenchment, social regression, right, is part of kind of how justice movements |
| 1:12.8 | happen throughout history. There are always steps forward and steps back, right, have civil |
| 1:18.5 | war and then reconstruction and then Jim Crow and then the civil rights movement. And we're having |
| 1:23.2 | kind of another setback in some ways now, culturally and legally. |
| 1:28.9 | And in these times, it's tempting to sort of try to stay small or try to fly under the radar or just try to make do. |
| 1:36.6 | And we get really focused on everything that's happening outside of us and how unfair and terrible it is. And I'm not saying |
| 1:45.0 | it's not those things. But what we lose when we're only focused externally is we lose the |
| 1:50.7 | connection to our own power and our own resilience and to our own agency in creating our |
| 1:58.8 | lives. And in a society that's telling women to conform to traditional |
| 2:04.2 | gender norms more and more, we have the opportunity to choose to go another way. We have the |
| 2:11.6 | opportunity to stand up strong for what we believe. And we have the opportunity to lead in our own lives and to be |
| 2:21.7 | extraordinary. And that doesn't mean like being globally known or being high profile. It just means |
| 2:28.3 | being extraordinary in our commitment to our values, being extraordinary in our commitment to living an intentional life, |
... |
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