4 Behaviors of Pornography Users

Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Education, Sexuality, Relationships, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you suspect that your partner is using porn? Have you discovered pornographic material on his phone or computer? These 4 tell-tale behaviors of pornography users will validate you and help you understand how his behavior is harming you. Tiffany Barnes join Anne Blythe on the free BTR podcast to share her insights and experience regarding the ways pornography users abuse women. Read the full transcript below and listen to the free BTR podcast for more. Pornography Users Gaslight Victims Gaslighting is a universal tool of abusers. By distorting the victim's reality, porn users can avoid accountability and shift blame onto the victim. Gaslighting is also known as crazy-making. When Tiffany would confront her abusive ex-partner about his pornography use, she was gaslit: He just tried to make me feel like I was being crazy, and I did. I questioned it a few times; am Icrazy? Is this just me being ultra-paranoid or something? Pornography Users Attempt To Normalize Their Porn Use Often, pornography users employ tactics to make their sexually depraved behaviors appear normal to avoid accountability and make the victim feel "prude", boring, or immature. Some of the ways that pornography users attempt to normalize porn are: "Hiding" pornographic material in plain sightCalling pornographic material "art"Saying things like, "Everyone does this"; "I'm a guy, that's what guys do"; or "No other woman would have issues about my porn use."Saying that they use pornography to help the marriage/relationship become strongerBlaming the victim by saying things like, "If you would have sex with me more, I wouldn't do this." Pornography is NOT a healthy and natural piece of human sexuality: it is abuse and exploitation. When victims can ground themselves in this truth, their partner's manipulation won't work any more. Pornography Users Dehumanize Their Partners Many women report being photographed, videotaped, or even live-streamed by their abusive partners. Women are sexually coerced, degraded, and physically harmed when phonography users demand sexual contact. Pornography itself is objectification: selling women's bodies for money. When men choose to view pornographic material, they are by default objectifying other human beings. This rarely stays compartmentalized. Pornography users dehumanize their partners by:Fantasizing about themAsking them to perform sexual acts that the victims are not comfortable withAsking victims to view pornography with themDemanding or guilting partners into having sexual contactFilming, photographing, or otherwise sharing sexual photos of victims, with or without consent Pornography Users Sexually Coerce Partners Any time a man has sexual contact with his partner without fully disclosing his sexual history, including pornography use, he is guilty of sexual coercion. Healthy sex is consensual. Women cannot give informed consent when men withhold key information about their own sexual behaviors. This is sexual coercion, a serious form of sexual abuse. If you think you are being sexually coerced by your partner, ask yourself: Have we ever had sexual contact when he had used phonography but hadn't told me? If the answer is yes, then you are a victim of sexual abuse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkPH4zkxJYw Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Pornography Users At BTR, we understand the confusion, fear, and devastation that women experience when their partner is using porn. That is why we created the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group: so that women can have access to multiple, live sessions every day. The BTRG gives women the opportunity to process trauma, ask questions, and share difficult feelings in a safe place. Join today. Full Transcript: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne. I have some amazing news! We just surpassed 1 million downloads to the podcast, which I never everimagined would happen,

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is Anne. I have some amazing news. We just surpassed
0:06.5	one million downloads to the podcast, which I never ever imagined would happen. And that's
0:13.0	thanks to you. I just really appreciate your support. I talked about this last week, but if you
0:18.5	are new to the podcast and you haven't gone back to listen to our first episodes, my first episodes
0:24.4	where I was in my basement crying into a microphone, you may want to start with past episodes and
0:30.1	move forward or you might not, but you'll hear a definite difference in my voice and my confidence
0:36.4	level. And it's, you know, amazing to have this real-time example of walking out of the fog of
0:45.3	abuse and learning to be confident again and having that peace and that hope and that safety. And
0:51.4	I'm so, so grateful for my journey. I'm also grateful and a little bit embarrassed that I
0:56.6	documented it. Some of the episodes are, I don't know, raw or a little bit embarrassing. Also,
1:03.2	I've learned so much on this journey. My views have evolved and my understanding of this has
1:09.0	evolved over time. And I'm aware that I continually don't know what I don't know. And so I'm just
1:14.3	where I am now. And so I'll continue podcasting and sharing where I am in this journey. Just as you
1:20.2	guys are, we're all in this together. That is why we started betrayal trauma recovery group so
1:25.3	that you could have an instant community of women who totally understand it. We have multiple
1:30.8	sessions a day in every single time zone up to, I think it's like 24 sessions per week. So when
1:38.7	you join, you get unlimited live sessions per week that you can attend, you can attend in your
1:44.3	closet, in your garage, wherever you need to, to get the help that you need. We do recommend that
1:50.5	the first time you join, you do it from like a desktop or a laptop so that it's just a little bit
1:56.0	easier and once you know what you're doing, then you can join on your phone. We would love to see
2:01.0	you in a session today. So many members love betrayal trauma recovery group. And they also
2:06.4	realize that they want a little bit more time to process their own individual situation.
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