What's going on lovers and friends welcome to the podcast called the same damn thing I just said hosted by yours truly

Shambu Dream here we talk about sex love relationships and dating and speaking of relationships the most important one around these parts is the one that we share with each other in order for

Relationship to thrive and survive it needs accountability and it needs communication so I have to tell you guys that I apologize for being inconsistent with putting these

Episodes out my intention is to put them out Tuesdays at 9 p.m. Eastern time midnight if you're on the west coast but that doesn't come to fruition as often I was as I would like it to and I often have very good excuses for that

Just giving birth or kids being sick

Traveling and in this particular case, it's kind of a mix of everything along with the fact that Valentine's Day is by far the most overwhelming time of year for me when it comes to the

work that I do now I'm very grateful for that because in years past Valentine's Day was extremely overwhelming for very different reasons I tried to so hard in that situation I didn't matter it just didn't work

And obviously right now I'm single because you know you can't do this when you're ready to love and meet somebody else you got to be way past this point and I'm like six months you know it's

still kind of fresh and give myself a couple more months more you know I'm really ready to meet that next person but I still have healing to do for what what that did

That is an excerpt from a video that I put out February 14, 2015 which I titled the Truth About My Love Life and in that video I was an essence trying to make sense of the fact that up until that point I had experienced multiple strong impressionable powerful loves that I

perceived to be soulmates however I was also aware that none of those people were my person and I was just talking about the various connections that I had had and in essence that's what this

episode is truly about how do you make sense of your soulmate now being your ex and as a modern data there's going to be multiple people that you are going to envision a

life with that you will end up losing and making peace with that I think requires us to rewrite some old scripts so many people think of a soulmate as our one true match a person we are inexplicably

drawn to and we know we are meant to share our lives with and while this concept held up nicely no several decades ago when people married a lot younger the modern

data has probably noticed that lightning does strike more than once according to the National Center for Health Statistics those born in the 80s and the 90s are not just getting married later they are on pace to stay unmarried at rates substantially higher than previous generations so with that being said we have to learn to make sense of deep but failed relationships that we once believed to be our one but ended up not even being our two our three our four heck even our five which leads us to the question

how do you make peace when your soulmate becomes your ex and as somebody again who has experienced this firsthand the way that I have reconciled with this is looking at soulmates not as destiny bound long term lovers but instead as supernovas rights attractive electric powerful but fleeting romances that are meant to transform us but not necessarily stayed with us so with all this in mind I believe that we can experience many many soulmates but

most of us will choose one or in some cases a small number of people to try life partnership with and to me that's the key difference a soulmate is a person that you're subconscious destiny God karma whatever you prefer to call your higher power that thing chooses it for you but a life partner is someone that you consciously enthusiastically mindfully and consistently choose for yourself and of course vice versa

another way that I have explained the difference between the love you experience with a soulmate versus the love you experience the life partner is using the metaphor of a ripe fruit versus a fruit tree now ripe fruit is colorful attractive delicious and ready to be enjoyed on site you are drawn to the fruit and it's drawn to you because being a door and consumed that's the fruits destiny and oh when you are consuming it it is satisfying and fulfilling when that fruit is done

so is the nourishment now if you can acknowledge and accept that this can be a positive and healthy experience something you can look back on finally without looking for it to be anything more than it ever could be a piece of fruit

however the trouble begins if you want more from that fruit when there is nothing left to give and anybody who has ever found themselves ripping at the peel and squeezing the seed of a dry ass relationship

knows exactly what I'm talking about conversely a fruit tree is the kind of love that has a potential to provide ample fruitful experiences but in order to actualize that destiny the tree requires sun and soil to powerful cooperating elements that agreed to consistently show up and pour into that tree that love so it can survive

thrive and give back now of course there's going to be times when the sun won't shine or the soil will spoil and in those times somebody may have to do more than their fair share

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