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The Art of Charm

720: Turning Toward Emotion | Article

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2018

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) continue the theme of Emotional Bids by discussing practical ways to deepen and strengthen the connections with the people in our lives. Their source for this week’s discussion comes from a Gottman Institute article by Zach Brittle: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ Whether it’s reciprocating feelings, talking about your day, or even better understanding physical touch, emotional bids help develop human-to-human connection and build long-lasting relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * How can the use of emotional bids help us make better connections with the people? * What is the best way to react to an emotional bid? * We might not always be able to respond to someone’s emotional bid right away. How can we respond to someone to still show that we care? *What role does humor play in emotional connection? * What’s an example of an emotional bid that can be easily overlooked? * We know that being too vulnerable can often put someone off. What ways can you think of that can create this tension? Johnny and AJ share their own experiences with missing emotional bids over the years. Whether it's getting to know someone for the first time or diving into the deepest parts of a romantic relationship, knowing how to spot an emotional bid and how to react is crucial to creating a true bond with someone we care about. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RESOURCES * The Ben Franklin Effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Art of Charm Podcast. I'm AJ.

0:02.5

And I'm Johnny and we're glad you joined us on our weekly podcast where we talk about the ways

0:06.6

you can improve your social skills, mental health, relationships and personal growth.

0:11.3

For those of you that are new to us, you'll find that in each episode of the Art of Charm,

0:14.9

we strive to bring you the best social skill building tips and strategies to help you feel

0:19.6

more connected and more confident in any social situation. And for those of you who've been

0:24.4

listening for a while, well, we've made some changes. Each month, we choose one theme and focus

0:29.1

all of our episodes on this theme. Last month was all about compelling conversations.

0:33.6

This month, we're delving into emotional bids. Basically, an emotional bid is any attempt from one

0:39.6

partner to another for attention, approval and acceptance. So your ability to recognize them

0:44.6

is going to directly relate to your ability to connect. Sort of like one person saying to another,

0:49.0

hey, pay attention to me. Well, as you remember last week, we talked about how to spot that emotional

0:54.4

bid and why reacting positively to that emotional bid is so important because people all over your

0:59.6

life are bidding for an emotional interaction. And you are also bidding for that emotional interaction

1:04.8

too. Again, it's a great introduction episode. So don't be shy about listening to last week's

1:09.5

episode number seven, 19 this week, we're going to take you through an article from the Godman

1:14.2

Institute, the very place that coined the term emotional bid. And we'll have that article linked

1:19.1

up in the show notes for you to follow along. Plus some other backups. But be sure to listen

1:24.2

out for tips on how to best react to emotional bids that people share with you throughout your work

1:29.0

week and at home. My favorite part of the episode is where we covered humor because a lot of people

1:33.9

don't understand how those could be misconstrued or seen as emotional bids. Truly gets us through

1:39.9

the rough patches in life and helps deepen the relationships friend romance and colleagues.

...

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