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The Art of Charm

722: What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation | Q&A w/ Andrea J. Lee

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2018

⏱️ 96 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) wrap up September’s month of Emotional Bids. Before answering listener questions, they speak with Andrea Lee (andreajlee.com), an accomplished coach, successful author, and violence prevention expert. From difficult personal conversations to work-related challenges Andrea believes that the RIGHT use of power - “emotional leadership” is crucial as we try to navigate. Without it, we end up with the abuse of power and interactions that can lead to emotional abuse. Andrea draws on her personal experience with difficult conversations from both ends of the spectrum - as both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. She shares what it takes to redeem yourself and rebuild any fractured relationship. Throughout their discussion, AJ, Johnny, and Andrea go in-depth into these moments, discussing the critical turning points in their lives and how they were able to overcome them. And we answer listener questions about emotional bids and personal relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR How can someone break the pattern of abuse in his/her life? Trigger Warning: this episode does contain a discussion about abuse. If this is a trigger for you please be aware. What is the first step to fully understanding a conflict with someone? Saying “yes” is important, but why saying “no” can be even more powerful, and how we can do it with compassion towards others. The Delta model - a 3-point tool that can be universally applied to the toughest conversations. How can you prepare for a conversation you’re afraid of having with a loved one, partner or colleague. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! RESOURCES * Andrea J. Lee - https://andreajlee.com * “We Need to Talk: Your Guide to Challenging Business Conversations” by Andrea J. Lee - https://amazon.com * “The Power of the Positive No” by Dr. William Yuri - https://amazon.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Art of Charm Podcast. I'm AJ.

0:02.8

And I'm Johnny. And we're glad you joined us on our weekly podcast where we share over a decade

0:07.3

of coaching experience to teach you the social skills you didn't get in school.

0:12.0

If you're new to the podcast, welcome. We run in-person training programs in Los Angeles

0:17.7

that focus on improving your social skills. We work with thousands of clients from all over the

0:22.8

world and we want to share the most valuable parts of that training with you here on this show.

0:28.0

In each episode of The Art of Charm, we bring you the practical tips and strategies to make you

0:32.5

feel more confident in any situation, whether it's a date at your job or a large social gathering,

0:38.2

like a networking event you're anxious about or even that holiday party.

0:42.0

Each month, we cover a theme directly from our bootcamp to help you strengthen your social skills.

0:47.7

We spent last month teaching you how to make conversation more compelling. And this month,

0:52.2

we're learning all about emotional bids. Right. And AJ, what is an emotional bid?

0:57.6

Basically, an emotional bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention,

1:03.1

affirmation, affection, or any kind of positive connection.

1:07.1

And all month, we've been asking you to submit your questions about emotional bids because we want

1:11.5

to know what you're struggling with. We covered a lot in the last three episodes this month,

1:16.2

but getting good at identifying emotional bids and then responding them effectively is in something

1:21.2

we learn overnight, which is why we believe in dedicating an entire episode each month to your

1:26.4

questions. And it's something we really love doing because answering your questions is a big

1:30.7

part of the learning process our clients experience in our boot camps. So today, we're going to answer

1:36.0

some of your questions and joining us to help is Andrea J. Lee, an accomplished coach, a successful

1:42.0

author and a domestic abuse activist. Be sure to listen out for Andrea's personal stories about

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