818 - Wonka & the Limping Audio Goblin
A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
Tom Vann & Dan Dennis
4.8 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 11 April 2025
⏱️ 139 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
• Sponsored by BudDocs.org for medical marijuana licenses
• BudDocs offers easy, same-day telemedicine appointments
• Dr. Chanlatte curates BudDeals and dispensary discounts
• Live from the JustCallMoe.com studio
• Rauce joins the Friday Free Show
• Rauce plugs “Good Sauce with Rauce and Joel” and their Fringe show
• Recap of chaotic BDM $5 shirt-stuffing party at Hourglass Brewing
• Koozie stuffing chaos and Tony Rage’s Minecraft-style table slide
• Tom stresses over organizing volunteer events
• Vince Taylor arrives on wrong date after Tom typo
• Vince left his sick mom, showed up in BDM gear, found only fishermen
• “Getting Tommied” becomes shorthand for careless screwups
• Tom offers to pay Vince’s gas, Vince jokes about his 18-wheeler
• Vince plugs his podcast and May 4 Star Wars brunch at Funny Bone
• Tom & Dan join Temu affiliate program for cheap party gear
• Tom orders tiny gardening shears from Temu, slow shipping
• Dan never uses Uber Eats, agrees with Rauce that $5 is a solid tip
• Uber Eats vs. old-school pizza delivery and tipping debates
• Grocery bag strength becomes a pride topic
• Ikea story: listener scans 59 items at self-checkout, gets mocked
• Dan prefers real cashier interaction, jokes he brightens their day
• Frustration over unpaid labor at self-checkout
• Poop story from workplace where someone smeared it on a wall
• Hot take: fondue sucks, Tom tips himself
• Dan’s daughter loves taquitos, nostalgia for junk food athletes
• Temu bag delivery compared to opium ships
• Song “Catch These Fizz” by Wet Leg played during break
• StreamlineFlorida.com plug for mortgage help from Brian ZIML
• Rauce & Joel’s Fringe show titled “10 More Sketches”
• Joke about flaunting past awards like Super Bowl rings
• Tom wants to be a Kratos-style cool dad
• Max learns card tricks on a camping trip
• Tom teaches TikTok magic and finds comfort in math-based tricks
• David Blaine nostalgia: 1997 special, studio visit after cursing
• Listeners revealed levitation secret, Masked Magician reference
• Magician Jeff Kaylor sells tricks to pros, Kostya Kimlat shoutout
• Tooth Fairy talk leads to joke about Tooth Fairy porn
• Celebrities like The Rock and Larry the Cable Guy played Tooth Fairy
• Dan mentions hanging with a teen curious about podcasting
• Teasers: cruise godmothers, Island Boys, Epic Universe
• Song “Apocalypse Soon” by local band Debt Neglector
• Fairvilla event plugs: Oral 101, Bootylicious Anal, Sex Toys 101
• Sanford Food Truck Fiesta judged by Angel and Brian Grimes
• Dan forgets a studio visit, wears Crocs post-surgery
• Dan hides when visitors knock unexpectedly
• Student visits about radio but actually loves jazz and R&B
• Dan recommends OrlandoBands.com and Ben Gardner
• Internships: how Dan got his job after “Apple Annie” incident
• Modern interns expect pay; Rauce says timing still matters
• Dan jokes Tom’s kids have no dreams, but offers help to listeners’ kids
• Dan says he has industry connections to make dreams come true
• Rauce confirms Dan has Carrot Top in his phone
• Dan compares himself to Willy Wonka of Orlando networking
• Rauce visited Epic Universe three times, says it beats Disney
• Highlights: Stardust Racers coaster, drink-around-the-universe
• Praise for How to Train Your Dragon show and Dark Universe land
• Dan wants to dress like Toad and ride Mario Kart drunk
• Cruise guy Tony attends MSC christening with celebs
• Drew Barrymore named godmother of the ship
• Cruise godmother role explained: honorary, free cruise
• Listener suggests D-Generation X crotch chop as dream fan moment
• Tom dreams of catching an NFL pass
• Dan shot on the Magic court thanks to Jeff Turner
• Foo Fighters and Green Day inviting fans to play onstage discussed
• Parenting efforts often go unnoticed until kids grow up
• Moe DeWitt sponsors Rauce’s podcast and Fringe show
• Promo for Moe DeWitt Bowling Tournament (sold out)
• Tease for April 19 BDM event with erotic magic and DJ Sharp
###
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Today's a mediocre time with Tom and Dan podcast is brought to you by Buddocs.org. |
| 0:05.3 | If you want to get your medical marijuana license, it's super easy. |
| 0:09.5 | A lot of time they have same-day appointments. |
| 0:11.9 | And when you leave Dr. Shenlates office, you can go directly to dispensary the same day. |
| 0:19.0 | So if you are like, hey, I want to get my medical marijuana license today. |
| 0:22.0 | Go to Bud Docs. |
| 0:22.7 | That'll work. |
| 0:22.9 | It's really nothing stopping you. |
| 0:24.4 | Very quick, very easy, like Tom said. |
| 0:27.6 | You do have to see them in person for your first, you know. |
| 0:30.7 | Just for a first consultation appointment. |
| 0:32.7 | First visit is in person. |
| 0:33.9 | But after that, you can do telemedicine like we do. |
| 0:36.3 | Very, very easy. |
| 0:37.1 | Yeah. is in person, but after that, you can do telemedicine like we do. Very, very easy. And this is not on the copy, and this is not what Dr. Shenlate is telling me to say. |
| 0:42.2 | Uh-oh. |
| 0:42.6 | But you're going to get him. |
| 0:45.5 | Listen, you make the appointment, you go there. |
| 0:48.5 | You know, I'm fairly confident that you will leave with a recommendation. |
| 0:52.9 | And Dr. Shemate's awesome. |
| 0:54.7 | You get your money back, by the way. |
| 0:55.9 | Exactly. |
... |
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