Getting married is just choosing one person's faults over another. Is that right?

Did I say that?

You said that.

I know that is from somebody who works with the Gottman's, but yeah, essentially the grass is always greener on the other side.

So I find that incredibly freeing. As soon as we realize that we are going to be living with somebody who has a lot of faults

and can we tolerate those faults and can they tolerate ours, then you are starting on solid brown.

It's an interesting thing.

You're looking at a familiar type of discomfort and the deal that you're really trading it for is not familiar

discomfort for unfamiliar comfort, but familiar discomfort for unfamiliar discomfort.

Exactly. That's very well said. Give me an example. You have a partner that is not quite as tender as you might like. They're not as loving,

you're staring at the night sky and you really wish they would say something high-flown and

thoughtful, but they start singing a song that they heard yesterday or playing a tune or something

like that or they, you know know they make a joke and you

think i just really want somebody that's so deep and does you know he's there and then you decide to

switch for another partner and you're at a party and your previous partner would have been you know

really involved in the conversation it would have made you giving you something that you could

have bonded over but at the new party with the new partner, this partner sort of needs your attention all

of the time and they don't really allow you to connect. So you have certain elements of

discomfort traded for other elements of discomfort. One person is phenomenal to watch movies with

because they don't interrupt and they just like to sit there and

be calm. But the next person that you bring along is really interesting and engaging when you

have conversations about stuff that fires you up. And you end up making these trades. There are

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