This episode is for anyone who's ever experienced the pain and emptiness of an incredible connection that just never went anywhere.

I was here for the fireworks show, but then I would dip out, you know, things in work. I didn't have the capacity and I like to say it's like, we know the term kaboom.

It's like, I was here for the car, but I would like dip for the boom, you know? And I was like, that was my MO.

And in working with so many men over the years, I'm like, I see this pattern not just for me being that way in the past, but also a lot of men.

Being so open and available for the beginning stages of connection, but then not having the capacity or not choosing to have the capacity to be able to be there in open communication and vulnerability in deciding whether this is going to go the long distance or it's just a nothing.

If you've ever experienced a connection like this, whether you're the one addicted to the thrill of the new or you were once the new toy thrown to the side once the novelty were off, I promise.

You're going to get some answers and maybe even some new important questions during this episode of lovers and friends.

Hi there, lovers and friends. Welcome to lovers and friends of podcasts. My name is Shambudram. Here we talk about sex, love relationships and intimacy. And here is my friend, Brendan, which is, I always, I'm umming this. I'm having a cause for pause because I have an episode that's called I'm a grown-ass woman who doesn't have any friends and then someone commented every fucking episode you open it with and here's my friend.

What I meant by that is that I don't tend to have a lot of active friendships of people that I know what's happening with them at any given time and vice versa.

And I feel really grateful that we are developing. I feel like over, you know, now we're friends. I'm questioning it. I'm saying it because you're not chiming in.

I'm just saying like it's true for me. We are friends, you know.

We're not active friends, though, because I actually don't know what's happening. We are check-in friends.

Yeah, and for me, like that's more powerful because you know the status of my life, how I travel and stuff. So anybody, like whenever I walk into the doors of your house with you and Jared, it feels like we pick up where we left off, even if there was like six months in between.

Yes.

There's like no like awkward, like, so how you been, you know?

Yes.

And I appreciate that.

That actually makes sense because that's probably the culture you're used to being a nomad that you have lots of people that you have meaningful connections with that you may not see for years at a time.

But I think the average person, I mean, has people who live close and should know how they're feeling at any given time?

Yeah, no, absolutely. I feel that deeply just because I've had to learn to be that way, you know?

Learn to enjoy, like the moments when I walk through your front door and I'm like, I'm with you and Jared and your babies. Like this is a beautiful moment, you know?

I hold on to those things because I know for sure with you being a very busy parent and amazing, like businesswoman also, it's like you have shit going on.

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