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Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard

#99: "Divide & Conquer" + Off-the-Grid Ryan Calls + Sam Going on Dr. Drew + Air/TikTok Conspiracies

Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard

Johnny Woodard

News, News Commentary, Comedy, Stand-up, Politics

4.9 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2023

⏱️ 128 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Off-the-Grid Ryan calls in to share his near-death experience, and we learn that Sam is booked on Dr. Drew on this week's Broken Simulation. We also get into the potential for race wars after the nonsense in Alabama, swap a few conspiracy theories, and Sam mentions that Eddie Bravo's appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience brougth surprise attention to someone we know. Oh, and Sam got a Gringo Special haircut from a sketchy Mexican place.

More stuff:

Get episodes early, and unedited, plus bonus episodes: www.rokfin.com/brokensimulation or www.patreon.com/brokensimulation

Watch Broken Simulation: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCob18bx1jaU1HYPCPNRnyog

Social media:
Twitter: @fatdragonpro, @johnnywoodard
Instagram: @samtripoli, @johnnyawoodard

The outro song is "Growing Growing Gone" by Fastball. Listen to it at www.patreon.com/fastball!

Want to see Sam live? Visit www.samtripoli.com for tickets!

Hosts: Sam Tripoli, Johnny Woodard

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Yes, hello. That's what we're in it. Yes. Oh damn it. I thought I was. I was a new head on. Johnny got a new head on. Not a new hat.

0:24.1

Johnny, is this your new season of football hat? I just want it is not a new hat. I got it last season, but it is a hat for football starting out.

0:33.1

Do you only wear during football season? Basically, yeah. I mean, I don't think about that too much, but it just kind of gets rotated to the bottom. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. I like hats. You like we're hat guys. We're hat guys, but I'm trying not to wear my hat as much. Why?

0:49.6

I don't know why. I just want to mix it up. I don't want to have a look. I want to be like a chameleon in and out. Wait a minute. Don't in entertainment. Don't you want to have a look up?

1:02.0

Yeah, but obviously I'm failing in my career. So I don't want to do that. I want to be like a chameleon. I want to like. I don't know. Are you just making shit up? Or is that real?

1:12.7

No, I don't I don't want to be known as the guy who wears the LA hat all the time, even though I am known as that guy. I just I'm trying. That's kind of cool, right?

1:21.2

Well, when you are, I know, but I just want to mix it up. I want to enjoy my hair while I can because you do have good hair. I'm I'm envious of it. Well, you know, I just recently got my hair cut.

1:30.2

Uh, I went to a all Mexican barbershop. Only because I like the pictures on the window.

1:39.3

Well, it was wrong with your current place. Okay. So I went to supercots. The Asian has no crew to fuck she's doing. So I'm like, I'm not going there anymore. Well,

1:48.6

having the old Russian or whatever it used to go to the duty was to get like the the price of the the the the haircut was getting to like $65. I'm like,

1:58.4

what are we doing here, bro?

2:00.1

The man's haircut yours is they use the tremors on your head. I mean, it's not. Oh, she is. So I go in there and it's like, is this a

2:06.6

hair salon or a daycare? There's kids running everywhere. You don't want that. Well, I'm like, I'm here. Let's go.

2:13.4

I'm like, are you taking a haircut and this woman got excited? Yes. Yes. Come in.

2:18.0

That's the way you want, dude. You don't want to walk into the barbershop and then just be like, oh, yes. And I might be dust off the chair. You know, it comes

2:25.1

sit down. I told you about how my aunt knew that the hair salon something was up because she walked in and they didn't have any

2:31.8

blue water for their. Yeah. And it turned out to be a prostitution ring. Oh, really? I never told you that. Yeah. No, you did. I remember

2:40.5

though something about the blue water. Yeah, the blue water. But that's interesting. My aunt is super observant of her. Yeah, she's like, there's no

2:46.5

blue water anywhere. And then he got busted for sleeping. That's really fun. Do we got beat that? Yeah. Damn it, Johnny. What kind of world do we live in?

2:56.8

Anyone just for YouTube. Anyway, so I go in and every picture is is Elvis. Like they almost saw Elvis was Mexican. That's how much it is. And then on

3:08.5

the screen is is Mexican television. And Mexican television is hilarious. Yeah. It is like a clip shell. Like their news is a clip shell.

3:24.1

Well, you were watching the news. They were watching news. I had to see what was ever on. And then I then I always try to go

...

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