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February 24th, 2024.

Air raid sirens bellowed over the capital city Keeve, marking the beginning of Russia's invasion

of Ukraine. As CNN documented this ominous occasion on its live feed, the cable news network

transitioned a split screen to accommodate an ad break, and the audio cross-faded to,

And a little bit of chicken fried, cold beer on a Friday night.

The song, Zach Brown band's Chicken Fried, which charted at number one on Billboard's Hot Country songs back in 2008,

and had since been licensed as a commercial jingle by a grill and bar concept known for its riblets and dolleritas.

The grotesquely funny juxtaposition of urban airstrikes with an advertisement for discounted boneless wings with the purchase of any burger became a potent symbol of this nation's perverse

for-profit news ecosystem. Each outlet a mouthpiece of a political party, but more generally,

of the American oligarchy. The sit-down chain in question pulled its ads from CNN as a result of this tone-deaf association.

Bounded in 1980 in the Greater Atlanta area by business and romantic partners Bill and T.J. Palmer,

the brand name was semi-randomely selected from a phone book, its spelling altered so it could be

trademarked. Today, it's grown to over 1,700 franchise locations and is operated under an umbrella

corporation that also owns IHOP. The large footprint Dine-In Grill has remained a potent

player in the chain restaurant industry, in part thanks to its nimble addition of takeout windows

post-pandemic. As of this recording, the still ongoing Russia-Ukraine war appears to be escalating,

perhaps an anticipation of an abrupt reverse course once the 82-year-old President Biden hands

of the reins to a comparatively youthful 78-year-old President-elect Trump.

But regardless of who's in charge, American news networks remain unfit to inform the public,

...