Balloons And UFOs: God Reveals What’s Happening

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2023

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

TODAY ON THE GOD POD: Santa and Jesus join God to talk Super Bowl divine interventions, royalty-free jingle bells, Jesus’ Valentine’s Day with Judas, and fonts. On ‘Ask God,’ you’ll learn if God or Jesus will help a New Zealander cut his hair, did Santa pee in George Santos’ hair, what Santa’s real name is, if the God Pod was the inspiration for ‘Fight Club,’ what are God’s preferred pronouns, was the little drummer boy evil, if God does his own Laundry, and what will happen on the next season of ‘America.’ Breaking news on ‘The GD News,’ about what the heck the US is shooting out of the sky, Schumer looking into banning TikTok, Mars Wrigley getting sued for workers falling into a vat of chocolate, Shell’s board of directors getting sued, and Sri Lanka decriminalizing homosexuality. Plus, a brand new commandment from God. THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: This episode is sponsored by Morgan & Morgan! For more information go to ForThePeople.com/GOD The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today on The God Pun, I've been meaning to say this Santa, but who are you to decide who's naughty or nice?
0:09.0	When you are so effing naughty.
0:12.0	I'm the one that delivers all the presents. Hey, guess what? You fucking do it.
0:17.0	She's a great person.
0:21.0	She was there when you got Krusefut.
0:24.0	Good it came along and got you down from the crucifix maybe, I don't know.
0:28.0	That's true. That's true. That would have been helpful.
0:31.0	Who wasn't to do that?
0:33.0	Let me Google. It was Joseph.
0:35.0	Jesus doesn't remember.
0:37.0	Yeah, I was in a lot of pain.
0:39.0	You ungrateful bastard.
0:41.0	I was in a lot of pain. It was Joseph.
0:46.0	What were you doing before and who did your laundry before the big bang?
0:50.0	No one. I just sat around in my filth.
0:53.0	Ew.
0:54.0	If you need to know. Ew.
0:56.0	Jesus, there's no one around to tell you you stay.
0:59.0	Yeah, but it's called self-care, God. Respect to yourself.
1:02.0	Self-care didn't exist yet, Jesus.
1:16.0	Hi there, humans. I'm God. Welcome to The God Pun.
1:20.0	On the show, I answer questions from humans
	...

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