Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

Over the years, we have talked about mindfulness as the gap between impulse and response. We know that a consistent meditation practice helps us lengthen the pause after we get triggered,

and we also know that nobody but us is responsible for what we feel unless we give them that power.

The gap we need between impulse and response can be as brief as one deep breath or as long as it takes for us to respond skillfully instead

of reacting irrationally.

We can use a long pause to figure out whether our impulse is rooted in love or fear,

question if our urges are fueled by the ego or the goodness within,

and reflect on any unmet needs behind our feelings so we can better understand and

explain ourselves rather than act out. We can take a rather long pause if the

conversation is over email for example when it's easy to take a few deep breaths before

writing back and certainly count to 10 before clicking the send button.

But how do we practice mindfulness in the middle of a heated discussion, for example, when

we feel the need to immediately say something?

Well, first and foremost, know that the so-called need you feel to immediately say something is just your ego trying to hijack the situation before you can formulate a skillful response.

Unless you are on a game show where you need to buzz your answer as quickly as possible,

you have plenty of time, you can ask for more time, and you can take your time.

When we don't take our time, we tend to regret saying things out of

anger, buying stuff on impulse, or storming out of a room like a child throwing a

tantrum. For instances where there truly isn't enough time for deep contemplation or even

enough time to count to 10, however, we do need a very quick and easy filter to help us out, and this episode is about what I'm going to start doing in split second pauses when it's all the time I have.

It all unraveled recently after I had a disagreement with my cousin.

I called a friend to get another perspective on the situation, and after explaining what happened,

...