Thank God I'm back. Thank you that I am so overjoyed to be sitting in the privacy of my own home in my fucking pajamas,

podcasting like I do.

I cannot even tell you.

This past week has been the longest week of my entire life. It is

Tuesday morning I had my last show of this run in Los Angeles last night. I am

going to give you guys a full play by play. I am elated.

I am slipping and sliding from pure ecstasy to be doing what I love to do, talking shit behind a microphone at home without an audience.

Just in the spirit of transparency, you know, I am not a stand-up comedian, I'm not an actress, I mean, I'm not a model,

I'm not a performer, I'm none of those things and before this tour the only on stage work I've ever done was at my fucking Bat Mitsva and at the high school lip sync competition which I slayed and won with a gorgeous medley and a grand

finale of Gasolina by Daddy Yankee so you can just imagine that kind of footwork that I handled.

I'm an amazing lip sinker, you should know it.

Also on a cruise when I was like 18 I entered the Princess Popstar competition

and did a performance of no scrubs that would I entered the Princess Pop Star competition

and did a performance of no scrubs

that would bring a tear to your eye.

But enough about that.

So beyond all of those wildly, wildly

successful performances,

I have never done anything on stage.

And a lot of people were saying to me

that once you get out there, people are cheering for you,

you get an adrenaline high.

...