Boundaries & What's Right

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Society & Culture, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Sexuality

4.2 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 5 March 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Explore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting from a debate-style approach to one focused on safety and understanding can lead to more productive and fulfilling discussions between partners. In the episode, we talk about topics such as: Struggle Between Experience and "Being Right" The Role of Control in Relationship Conflicts The Window of Tolerance + Emotional Safety The Power of Curiosity > Persuasion Need for Repeated, Small Conversations and more! Give Me Discounts! Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Here's the truth about AI. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. Service Now puts AI to work for people across your business, removing friction and frustration for your employees, supercharging productivity for your developers, providing intelligent tools for your service agents to make customers happier, all built into a single platform you can
0:22.0	use right now. That's why the world works with ServiceNow. Visit servicenow.com
0:27.9	slash UK slash AI for people. One of the things that we're always working on in couples therapy
0:32.7	is helping people see that what it's like to be them is different than what it is like to be their partner.
0:39.0	Even mattress companies are beginning to use this in their marketing, not just because it's good
0:43.7	marketing, but because it's true. He gets hot while he's sleeping, she gets cold. He likes a bed firm,
0:49.0	she likes it soft. We have a mattress that can help both people, And I personally have yet to see any couples bring
0:55.4	this up as a major point of contention in their marriage. They accept it fairly easily.
0:59.9	You know, like, okay, he gets a little bit hotter and she gets a little bit colder while they
1:03.7	go to sleep. Though I'd be curious if Kayla or Lauren has seen this one show up. But when do we
1:09.2	get to use this card? The whole what it's like to be
1:11.4	me is just different than what it's like to be you. You see, what it's like to be me is that I
1:16.7	think turning our phones off when we go on a date night and not looking at them is better for our
1:22.1	marriage. But it's not just that I think it would be better. It is better. It's a fact.
1:27.9	It shows the other person that you are more attentive to them.
1:31.5	And there's also literal science showing that your attention can be divided if your phone is just sitting in front of you, even if it's on silent.
1:39.7	What do we do when, here's what it's like to be me, feels like it's intersecting with, here's what it's like to be me feels like it's intersecting with here's what it's like
1:44.6	to be right.
1:54.4	Hello and welcome to relationship advice. My name is Lauren and I am joined by my friends and
1:59.9	co-hosts Coulter Culture and Kayla. We are three
2:02.6	licensed professional counselors who run a therapy community in Phoenix called Thrive. And on this
2:07.5	podcast, we are all about untangling the stuffed spots in relationships where we dive deep
	...

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