Claw and Door-der

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 31 July 2024

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Maddi hates to sleep with the door open. But her boyfriend, Matt, says he's tired of their cat screaming on either side of the closed door! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week,
0:07.1	claw and dorder.
0:10.3	Matt brings the case against his partner, Maddie.
0:14.0	Matt says their cat screams if it's on either side of a closed door.
0:20.0	To keep the peace, Matt would like to sleep with the bedroom door open.
0:25.0	But Maddie says she can't stand sleeping with an open door.
0:30.0	The cat screams aren't that bad.
0:33.0	Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.
0:42.0	He's my cat. He's not God or whatever's cat. Let God or whatever have his own cat. Let
0:47.8	God or whatever have all the damn old cats he wants and kill them all. Church is mine.
0:53.6	Bail of Jesse Thorne please swear them in.
0:55.6	Matt and Maddie please rise and raise your right hands.
0:59.1	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, God or whatever?
1:05.2	I do.
1:06.2	Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that his favorite
1:11.8	rapper of all time is MC Skat Cat.
1:15.0	I do.
1:18.0	Very well. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.
1:20.0	Well, it is true that opposites attract. Isn't that right, Joel?
1:22.0	Totally. All right, Joel?
1:22.6	Totally.
1:23.2	All right, I'm here with Joel Mann at the Summer Chambers, W-E-R-U.org in Orland, Maine.
	...

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