Clean Freaks, Narcissistic Victims, and Crappy Phobias
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 14 February 2025
⏱️ 78 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 How can I be comfortable in a dirty space?
08:15 Is my friend respecting my boundaries?
25:35 Do anxious and avoidant attachment go together?
32:47 Can narcissists be victims?
39:03 Can therapy help me with loneliness?
44:55 Being the productivity scapegoat
1:03:43 Bathroom anxiety
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February 14, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Desirving listeners, I thought I would answer emails from patrons and YouTube members. |
| 0:05.6 | This first email is from middle tier patron Charlotte from California. She says, |
| 0:10.6 | I am a clean freak. When I visit the homes of my friends, I cannot help but notice that they |
| 0:15.9 | definitely do not keep their spaces to the same standards as I do, and it can keep me from |
| 0:20.5 | feeling comfortable in their space. Sometimes I worry as I do, and it can keep me from feeling comfortable |
| 0:21.1 | in their space. Sometimes I worry that I'm being judgmental and unfair, but when I am over |
| 0:27.8 | for dinner on or overnight at their house, I can't help but worry about how clean their dishes |
| 0:36.0 | or bed linens are. Recently, on an overnight stay at one of my |
| 0:41.0 | best friend's houses, I asked them for a steam cleaner to clean the bedroom floor as I noticed a ton of |
| 0:48.9 | debris and hair on the floor and it really grossed me out. She ended up mopping the floor and I felt really bad about it. |
| 0:57.3 | I guess my question is, how can I balance being this way without coming across as rude or |
| 1:03.5 | high maintenance to my friends? I don't want them to feel pressured to go out of the way for my |
| 1:09.1 | cleanliness preferences, but it does make me much more |
| 1:12.6 | comfortable to be in their clean space. I would love to hear your perspective on this, end of |
| 1:17.5 | email. Yeah, well, there's a lot of things we could say, or I could say. I'm rolling through the |
| 1:25.3 | various bullet points of things I could say. |
| 1:34.4 | One of the things is, it doesn't sound like it, but it's possible that you have a pathological compulsion around cleanliness, and that's the problem, and treatment for that would be warranted. |
| 1:43.4 | It doesn't sound like that. |
| 1:44.7 | It sounds like you are among the normal range of people when it comes to cleanliness. |
| 1:52.2 | You know, you're at the higher range and your friends are at the lower range and no one's |
| 1:55.9 | pathological. |
| 1:57.1 | I will say that my bias is on your side of things because my wife and I are very clean compared |
... |
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