Hey, does everyone listeners? Today I'm going to answer patron emails.

This first email is from patron Rachel from Pialip.

She writes, I just became a therapist recently,

and one challenge that I currently have is that I am too scared to challenge

or question my client's behaviors.

I introduce different concepts to them, I introduce different concepts to them to explain unhealthy thinking patterns, but then when they

demonstrate a certain unhelpful thought or behavior, I just listen and I don't use that moment as a teaching moment.

I don't connect it back to the concept. I tend to think of myself as their friend and that

prevents me from asking the hard questions because I'm

scared of confrontation or debate. My therapist told me that I am not their friend

and she thinks of herself as her client's mother like a consultant. How do I stop thinking of

myself as their friend and more like a consultant? End of email. Well first off

welcome to the field Rachel from PELOP that's great. So it's hard for me to know how

to advise you because there's a lot of different possibilities that I could see happening

given my experience in supervising people and training people.

There are, just thinking off the top of my head, one, you could be overly timid, as I think

you're probably guessing is probably the problem

but also number two you could be rushing and well I'll get into more that later

number three you might be and we'll all get into more of that later.

Number three, you might be making assumptions

about their quote-unquote unhealthy thinking patterns.

And four, it's possible that your friend mode might be difficult to alter in you, so maybe you should try to work within that mode instead of trying to change that mode.

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