4.8 • 3.5K Ratings
🗓️ 21 November 2023
⏱️ 43 minutes
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0:00.0 | I'm Alan Alda and this is clear and vivid conversations about connecting and communicating. I have this dualism in the book. |
0:17.0 | I say some people are diminishers and some people are illuminators. |
0:21.0 | And diminishers aren't curious about people and they |
0:24.6 | stereotype and they label. And one of the things that diminisher will do is |
0:28.7 | called stacking. And that's if I know one thing about you you supported Donald Trump. |
0:33.5 | Then I proceed under the assumption that I know 8 million things about you and that's |
0:38.8 | stacking and illuminators on the other hand make you feel lit up and warm. |
0:45.0 | They're persistently curious about you. |
0:47.9 | They want to know your backstory. |
0:50.1 | And they make you feel great because they really warmly pay attention to the stories you tell about yourself. |
0:55.6 | That's New York Times columnist David Brooks and as you'll hear in our conversation |
1:01.1 | he calls himself a grower. |
1:03.0 | He's grown as a person, he says, over his 60-something years, |
1:07.0 | in part through the books he's written exploring how people see themselves and see others. His most recent book tells how the people he's met, many of |
1:16.6 | them very different from himself, have given him insights into, as the book's |
1:21.3 | title puts it, how to know a person, the art of seeing others deeply |
1:26.6 | and being deeply seen. |
1:30.3 | Well this is a wonderful book you've written. Oh, thank you. |
1:33.0 | It's challenging for me personally because I've spent most of my life as an actor and as a person trying to learn how to |
1:40.0 | relate to people, people right in front of me. |
1:44.0 | And you really examined it, and in a very personal way. |
1:48.0 | It's admirable how personally you are. |
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