Deep Dive with Bob and Amy Allnutt on Hard Conversations

Kelly Corrigan Wonders

Kelly Corrigan Show

Society & Culture

4.8 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2025

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ever wondered what keeps two people together when the days are intense and the answers aren't clear? Kelly talks with Bob and Amy Allnutt about raising their son Jack, who is severely autistic. These two figured out something pretty special about making a marriage work - it's not about seeing eye to eye, but about creating room for different ways of handling things. When they finally found a way for Jack to communicate by typing, he told them something they'll never forget: "I'm trying and I'm really smart." Bob and Amy get real about the hard stuff - the violent episodes, the exhaustion, and what happens when you stop trying to be right and start trying to understand. It's a conversation that'll make you think differently about what it means to have someone's back. This episode was made possible by a grant from Templeton Religion Trust. To learn more, go to templetonreligiontrust.org. For more information on Bob, Amy and Jack Allnutt, check out Andrew Solomon's excellent book Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity or the fantastic documentary Far From the Tree (based on the book). To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wenders. I'm Kelly Corrigan. Today I'm talking with Bob and Amy Allnut. They are a couple who raised a son named Jack. He's 22 now. He didn't talk for many years. He has severe autism. And as those signs became clear in the earliest days, Amy could see them and Bob could not.
0:26.4	This kind of divide often ends marriages.
0:29.2	In fact, it's more likely that couples of special needs children will divorce and stay together.
0:40.9	But as you'll hear, Bob and Amy Allnut are connected. And they share with me an unforgettable story of the day they finally discovered that their
0:48.9	son, who had been nonverbal, was tracking all along.
1:02.0	This is the first in a five-part series called Hard Conversations, Getting Along when the Stakes are high. Today's discussion proves that some of life's most painful, seemingly
1:09.0	unending moments can actually bring us closer if and when
1:14.0	we are willing to see each other and listen without judgment and stay in it. Here is my conversation
1:22.0	with the truly astonishing couple, Bob and Amy on that.
1:40.0	So with autism, it's not always clear at the same moment for all the people observing a child that something is different with this kid.
1:43.7	So can you talk about the moments in which you each recognized
1:49.3	that you were going to be a special needs family?
1:52.9	We definitely recognize that in different time periods.
1:57.0	I was early to recognize it because he was our third child. He wasn't hitting all the milestones
2:03.2	that my girls hit. And he was just doing sort of these odd that I know now are stereotypical
2:10.4	behaviors for autism, these odd behaviors that I just knew weren't considered quote unquote normal. I'd point to the sky and show him an
2:20.5	airplane. He wouldn't look up to the airplane. So he ignored a lot of people and things around him.
2:28.1	He was very to himself. He would line up toys. So I knew I knew about two years old, two and a half years old. And they did tell us at that time that
2:38.3	they described it as pervasive developmental disorder, NOS, so not otherwise specified, which is really a
2:46.7	nice way to tell parents it's autism, kind of lets you get ready for that word. So I was ready
2:53.3	and I'm bored right away and Bob took a little bit longer. Yep. And was it a source of pain
3:00.4	between the two of you that you were seeing something that he wasn't seeing? Because this happens
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 7 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Kelly Corrigan Show, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Kelly Corrigan Show and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.