Elon Won

Factually! with Adam Conover

Headgum

Comedy

4.4 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2024

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

(In addition to your weekly Factually! episode, this week we're bringing you a monologue from Adam. This short, researched monologue originally aired on the Factually! YouTube page, but we are sharing audio versions of these monologues with our podcast audience as well. Please enjoy, and stay tuned for your regularly scheduled episode of Factually!)

Congratulations to Elon Musk on his historic White House win, this definitely won't be bad for all of us!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a headgum podcast.
0:05.8	With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry,
0:11.9	a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets.
0:14.5	That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.
0:18.0	Price and participation may vary for a limited time only.
0:23.6	Elon, I got to hand it to you, buddy. You know, I've been making fun of you in my videos for two years now.
0:26.6	For your dumb-ass fake robots, your broken-ass cars, and the fact that even your own kids don't love you.
0:33.6	I called you dumb because you lost billions of dollars buying Twitter.
0:38.3	But you know what?
0:39.3	I was wrong.
0:40.3	You didn't do it for money.
0:42.3	You did it for power.
0:44.3	And you got that shit.
0:46.3	You took over the world's dominant social media platform for breaking news
0:50.3	and bent it into your personal megaphone that you used to get your only friend
0:55.8	elected to the presidency, all so he could hand you billions of more dollars in government cash.
1:01.3	And it fucking worked. And now, you, Elon Musk, are going to be God help us running the federal
1:08.9	government. Let that sink in to the White House.
1:12.7	You won, dude.
1:13.8	You might be a moron in a bunch of ways,
1:16.2	but I have no choice to admit that you are a genius
1:18.9	at turning other people's money into power.
	...

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