Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2024

⏱️ 80 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals. About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Defining perfectionism 6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving 12:40: The five types of perfectionists 21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short 28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism 34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work 38:10: The difference between power and control 44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection 49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships 54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success 1:07:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Tansum. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:14.0	I've been thinking a bit recently about how there's often a surprisingly thin line between an inner strength and something that gives us a real headache in life. Think about traits like
0:24.0	attention to detail, a strong work ethic, or the ability to have a real vision for
0:28.4	what's possible for us. Most people would probably like to have more of those things, right?
0:34.0	And when applied in moderation, they can absolutely propel us forward
0:37.8	and lead to a lot of good outcomes for us.
0:40.4	But when taken to extremes, those same traits can lead to anxiety, frustration, and the relentless pursuit of unattainable standards.
0:47.0	Perfectionism is a great example of this problem, and today we're going to be focusing on how we can find some balance here, harnessing the strengths associated with perfectionism without getting so captured by some of the vulnerabilities.
0:59.0	So to help us do that, I'm joined by a wonderful guest therapist and author Catherine Morgan
1:04.2	Schaffler. So Catherine, thanks for joining me today. How are you doing? I'm well, thank you so
1:08.4	much for having me. Really been looking forward this one to tell you a little bit more about
1:13.6	Catherine. Catherine is a psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at
1:17.5	Google where I'm sure that you had the experience working with more than one
1:21.3	perfectionist and she obtained her undergraduate degree from
1:24.1	UC Berkeley, Go Bears, and then went on to obtain two masters from Columbia, one focused on clinical
1:29.6	assessment and the other on psychological counseling and she's also the author of the recent book
1:34.4	The Perfectionist's Guide to Lose and Control that's most of what we're going to be
1:37.8	talking about today and starting with that's
1:45.0	that's so funny. Do you like to trigger people with the titles of your books?
1:48.0	Oh, that's so funny. I love that you started there.
1:51.0	Yeah, well, you know, we do think of control as this wonderful thing. Control can be a
1:59.9	good thing if you think of it in the broader aspect of management but you can't really
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in -225 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Being Well, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Being Well and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.