Encore: Emotional Labor

Dear Sugars

WBUR

Boston, Wbur, Sugar, Cheryl Strayed, Society & Culture, Dear, Relationships, Advice, Steve Almond

4.6 • 5.9K Ratings

🗓️ 25 February 2023

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars commiserate with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.”

Transcript

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0:00.0	WBUR Podcasts, Boston.
0:07.0	The universe has good news for the lost, lonely, and heart sick.
0:19.0	The sugars are here, speaking straight into your ears.
0:23.0	I'm Steve Olman.
0:24.0	I'm Cheryl Strayed.
0:25.0	This is Dear Sugar's.
0:28.0	Oh dear song, won't you please?
0:35.0	Yes, I'm better sweet than as we be.
0:43.0	I check my bedbub every day.
0:51.0	Oh, and this sugar, you see in my way.
0:58.0	Dear sugars, I don't have a huge burning question, but I'd like to figure out how to get my husband
1:05.0	to understand emotional labor without sounding like I'm just complaining.
1:10.0	He has come a long way, but I'd love advice about how to get him to be more empathetic
1:14.0	and to understand that being in charge of providing the food, clothes, doctors, medicines,
1:19.0	activities, and holidays are two children and our pets takes a toll.
1:25.0	When I complain of being mentally exhausted because of how much I do, my husband's
1:30.0	typical response is to tell me about all the work he does around the house.
1:34.0	I'm sad to say that we can form to gender roles when it comes to the division of labor, much to my chagrin.
1:41.0	Perhaps an example would help.
1:43.0	This is my morning.
1:45.0	I get up at the same time as my children who are now 12 and 14, as I have done since they were born.
1:51.0	I help them with their breakfast and lunches, feed both of our dogs, and make sure they go to the bathroom
	...

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