Murderous, stick-ditorial imperialist Vladimir Putin has accused the west of satanism

in furiating western leaders by interrupting their child's sacrifices to the bullheaded demon

god Mollik. The Russian president took time off from poisoning and imprisoning his critics

to condemn America as an evil colonialist power during a celebration of his annexation

of the occupied regions of Ukraine after a majority of Ukrainians in those regions

freely voted to hand their land over to Russia rather than being shot and tossed into a mass grave.

Speaking either in Russian or a series of nonsense noises that sounded vaguely Russianistic,

how would I know? Putin said, quote, we here in Russia reject the west because we do not want our

children taught that there are more than two genders and that they should undergo sex change

operations. The leaders of the west have gone insane. The response from America was harsh and

immediate. Public health admiral and walking Monty Python sketch Rachel O. Look I'm a girl

because I wear cardigans Richard Levine was quick to strike back against Putin's accusations of

insanity. At a ceremony celebrating a new California law allowing sexual perverts to perform amateur

surgery on children until their whatever gender the pervert wishes to molest Levine said, quote,

how dare Putin question the sanity and morality of western leaders who are following the science

as quickly as I can make it up. After all, in this festive and demonic Halloween season if a boy

wants to trick or treat as a girl why shouldn't we castrate him and let him wear a dress? What's the

matter? Don't Russians like Candy Corn? Unquote Levine then put on his admirals outfit and sang the

entire libretto to pirates of pensents in falsetto while chasing a sixteen year old girl around the

room with a scalpel and denouncing the invasion of Ukraine. Russian leaders on the other hand

supported Putin's speech and said that listening to it was far preferable to being hung upside

down naked and sprayed with a fire hose. They especially praised Putin's threat to unleash his

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