Well, Republicans were hoping for a red tsunami.

Unfortunately, red tsunami turned out to be an embarrassed Japanese girl saying,

O'Rooke,

Rots of Republicans are roosing.

We did however experience a red wave as we wave goodbye to red tsunami.

In the wake of these absurd puns, election analysts and other people without any discernible skill set

are trying to make sense of the midterm results so that Americans can find out what the people

who are wrong about everything will be wrong about next.

This is called expertise, and it's actually a great way to make a living while the country is going down the drain.

One lesson we can take away is that even though Democrats destroy the economy,

fill our city streets with homelessness and crime and sell pornography and sexual deviants to little children

before butchering their bodies on the basis of an insane gender theory with no basis.

In fact, Republicans can still find just the right candidates to lose to them

as long as the Democrats carefully select candidates who hate America and have had a stroke.

Exit polls show that the issues voters cared about most included what color sneakers they were wearing

and where they could score some of those powerful new strains of legalized marijuana

so they could make themselves psychotic and everything would seem fine.

Also, inflation was a big issue because after shelling out for the dope nowadays,

you have no money left to buy Oreos,

which is a downer when you have the munchies and are psychotic.

Legalized abortion was also important because many voters seem to remember having sex with someone last night

while they were stoned out of their minds and if it now turns out they have a baby,

...