Now that our government is being run by a faceless, unelected cabal of credentialed socialists

elites where so intellectually brilliant they have passed beyond the golden realm of genius

into an ethereal dumpster of complete stupidity, there's not much left for our dementia-riddled

president to do except lying his lawn chair, eat jello, and start a nuclear war with Russia.

The end of the world began as national leaders gathered the G20 summit in Rio de Janeiro,

where President Biden was disappointed to learn that Peking lame duck did not mean that dinner

was Chinese takeout, but just that he had to stand behind Xi Jinping in the

group photo. So, as important world leaders, like whoever the president of Indonesia is,

rose to give speeches promoting world peace, the dejected Biden wandered off to finish coloring

the Winnie the Pooh gets stuck in a not-hole page of his briefing book and then give

Ukraine permission to fire American-made long-range missiles into a country run by a power-hungry

lunatic with a nuclear arsenal large enough to reduce the ruins of Great Britain to the

ruins of Great Britain. In a speech delivered to a potted plant, he mistook for a little girl with great-smelling hair,

Biden explained why he changed his strategy from letting the war drag on forever through

mondering incompetence to getting everyone on earth killed through mondering incompetence.

The president told the adorable little plant, quote,

given the inexcusable aggression of Vladimir Putin's reckless attempt to rebuild the Russian

empire by invading a perfectly innocent cesspit of corruption like Ukraine,

I just wanted to see the pretty streaks of light that missiles make when you fire them

across the night sky.

And by the way, your hair smells terrific, but I don't think you should have dyed a

green like that, unquote. Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky was ecstatic at being set free

...