Ep. 284: Shifting Our Understanding of Attachment
The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Natalie Lue
4.9 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 13 December 2024
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week's episode is about attachment, a topic Natalie's delving into for the first time with integrative coach, Elfreda Manahan-Vaughn because she's never been able to see herself in the popular attachment narrative, and she knew there must be others who felt the same way. Natalie and Elfreda discuss a more expansive, nuanced, inclusive understanding of attachment and how it can liberate, instead of hold you back. They talk about the importance of understanding one's own patterns, and the potential for personal growth and earned security, emphasising the adaptability of attachment styles and the steps individuals can take to foster healthier connections with themselves and others.
Elfreda Manahan-Vaugn's Mettamorphics website
Elfreda on Instagram and LinkedIn
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions, a podcast about building, |
| 0:07.6 | growing and sustaining healthy and intimate relationships with yourself and those around you |
| 0:12.9 | by reclaiming yourself from your emotional baggage. Since 2005, I've been writing one of the |
| 0:18.9 | longest running self-help blogs in the world, baggage reclaim. |
| 0:22.2 | I'm a dating and relationship coach, and I'm also author of five books, including Mr. |
| 0:27.0 | Unavailable and the Fallback Girl and the Joy of Saying No. |
| 0:31.2 | Everything I share on the podcast will help you break the cycle by healing the past through |
| 0:36.2 | increasing emotional availability, |
| 0:38.7 | cutting back on people pleasing, creating healthier boundaries and ultimately owning who you are. |
| 0:44.6 | You don't have to settle for crumbs from yourself or others, |
| 0:47.3 | and you can give and receive love, care, trust and respect. |
| 0:51.5 | Okay, let's do this. |
| 0:58.8 | Hello, hello, hello. How are you doing? How's your December treating you so far? It has been a weary time in our house because for six, seven weeks, |
| 1:07.1 | it's been like lurgy central. And after passing around various cold and flu and all sorts |
| 1:13.6 | we're all just wrecked now but hopefully we've come to the end of it just in time to enjoy the |
| 1:20.7 | festive season anyway enough about that today's episode is on the subject of. If you are a long-time listener or you are a |
| 1:31.8 | long-time reader of baggage reclaim, then you will know that this is not a subject that I have |
| 1:37.6 | really covered in any depth. And that's because based on the popular narrative around attachment, it didn't really make sense to me. |
| 1:48.0 | I didn't really see myself too clearly in it. I felt confused, sometimes disorientated by what I was |
| 1:58.8 | reading about attachments. And I would then sort of wonder, am I in denial? |
| 2:03.7 | Like, it's just that I don't want to see that that's who I am in this. And it's because they didn't |
| 2:09.5 | seem to fit very clearly into one all along. And then I came across Alfrida Manahan-Van, |
... |
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