Episode 163: Mentalization - Is Your Teen Good At Knowing Other People?

Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Kenneth Wilgus, PhD, P.C.

Christian Parenting, Christianity, Teens, Education, Teenagers, Kids, Kids & Family, Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Adolescents, How To, Parenting Teens, Parents

4.9 • 714 Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2024

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Does your teenager misread others? Are they able to read the motives and feelings of their peers? This is known as "mentalization." Since the COVID pandemic more and more adolescents are struggling to read others and this effects their peer relationships and all other social interactions. Today we talk about how parents can influence mentalization in their teens and encourage their relationships. Dr. Ken references David Brooks' book "How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen" https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X/ref=asc_df_059323006X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=647264363749&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11579897834764221685&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9026972&hvtargid=pla-1973418059256&psc=1&mcid=2b6838d100a03234bfccdfda564a7ab5 Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you enjoy this podcast, would you mind leaving us a review?
0:03.7	This is how others find our podcast.
0:14.1	Welcome back to Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, a weekly podcast guide on parenting
0:18.6	teens and launching them into the world.
0:21.7	I'm Jessica Pfeiffer, and as always, I'm joined by psychologist and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus.
0:27.8	Hey, Dr. Ken. Jessica. I have a funny story for you. Oh, boy. So last night, we were eating
0:36.3	dinner and I had made a new recipe and my 17 year old looked at me and she said, this is munch. And I looked and I said, what is munch? And she goes, you know, munch? And I said, you mean like, like buss or busson? This is bussing? And she's like, yeah, well, I mean, it's kind of the same
0:55.2	thing. It's much. And I said, this is not making any sense. And the fact that I'm using your
1:00.3	words to define your new words is the weirdest situation. When do parents start being the bus
1:08.0	chaser or the word chain trying to keep up with our teenagers who are
1:12.8	clearly making stuff up just to be the in group and we're out. I bet she didn't like that
1:18.8	you even knew what Bussin was. I know. Well, she, we kind of laughed and then my husband was like,
1:23.3	you know, munch is like it's a verb. It's not a, like this is not a it's like this is not a noun he's a
1:28.9	concrete man i don't know what we're doing with this word in this place in the he doesn't play
1:33.3	along at all but i i took the compliment that was the main thing i took away was she complimented me
1:38.3	for my food and i don't care how it comes that's exactly right we'll take it take it with
1:42.4	appreciation even if you can't understand what they're saying. Yes. So, well, let's talk about something interesting today that you had brought up to me that I didn't really know about. Right. So I wanted to discuss a little more. Let's talk about mentalization.
1:58.2	Yeah, which sounds like a-
1:59.5	define this. Yeah. It sounds like a trick, you know, like come see our
2:03.2	mentalization guy and he'll, no, no. So I think about it a lot because a lot of people don't know
2:09.5	about it, but it'll make sense. Mentalization is essentially the ability to understand the mental state
2:16.8	that underlies behavior,
	...

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