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Election Profit Makers

Episode 257: Storms Operate In Your Eyes

Election Profit Makers

Jon Kimball & David Rees

Comedy, News, Politics

4.9700 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2024

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

David finally gets to talk about guitar pedals for one minute. Jon discusses gambling in NC.

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Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi everybody, welcome to election profit makers, your guide to winning and losing money on political outcomes and current events.

0:10.0

My name is Kid Minus and I have to start with a pretty sincere apology.

0:15.0

I'm under the weather, folks. I'm congested.

0:17.0

You sound fine.

0:18.0

I tested negative for COVID, but boy, oh boy, I was blowing my nose like an absolute fiend all through the night.

0:24.9

So I'm going to be a little congested this week.

0:27.3

John is going to take the lead.

0:29.6

So let me introduce John before he speaks so that you don't get freaked out when you hear his voice.

0:33.7

I actually co-host this podcast with someone named John.

0:36.8

Yep, that's me. Hey, everyone.

0:39.1

And he's a great guy and a good friend, and he can't wait to host this week's episode while I just kind of lie around and let the snot run out of my, my, those tubes in your nose, nasal cavities. What are the sinuses? In your nose or beside your head? They're in your face. Yeah, my sinuses are in my face. They're all up in my face right now. Yeah, up above your eyes. Oh, my God. Behind your cheekbones. And what's by my nose? Because my nose feels bigger than ever. And I do have kind of a bulbous nose. I think your nose is part of your face as well.

1:09.0

Well, my nose is really rocking me right now. Illnesses. Health and

1:14.5

illness, right? Illnesses. Boy, they will get you. John, the healthy man has a thousand wishes. The sick man has

1:22.4

but one. Isn't that a heavy quote? That's where I'm at right now. Who wrote that? I don't know. Probably Albert Einstein or Abraham Lincoln or one of those people is always popping up on Twitter with a little photo and then some some quote that they absolutely did not say and would have never said in a thousand years. Like, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

1:45.9

Abraham Lincoln. It's like when you sent us that quote from Hubert Davis, the U.N.C. basketball coach.

1:50.5

I knew you were about to bring that up. And he was quoting something 25 or something. And it was like, don't get distracted by the side shows of life.

2:03.3

It's like, yeah, they were talking like that in Bible times.

2:06.5

The side shows.

2:08.0

Like, that must have been like the new teen translation or something.

2:11.2

Yeah.

2:11.5

The Circus Carney's Bible.

2:13.4

Don't get distracted by the side shows of life.

...

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