Episode 300: Alright Scary – “Jennifer’s Body” (2009)

Alright Mary: All Things RuPaul's Drag Race

Colin Drucker & Johnny Also

Unknown

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 October 2021

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

“Jennifer’s Body” is so much more than a 2009 version of “Species,” but it does feature one hell of a femme fatale in the form of Megan Fox. Amanda Seyfried meanwhile is a final girl with depth whose vengeful nerd rage rivals Carrie White in the final act. Plus we got a handful of great moms, a perfectly awful rock ballad, and not enough male butts. Plus: a jawbreaking omission, an Elizabeth Holmes impression, an appreciation of Diablo Cody’s journey to an EGOT and plenty of Marying out on all of the metaphors and allegories of this gory foray into female friendship. Patreon: www.patreon.com/alrightmary Email: [email protected] Twitter: @alrightmary Johnny: @johnnyalso (Instagram) // @johnnyalso1 (Twitter) Colin: @colindrucker_ (Instagram) // @colindrucker (Twitter) Web: www.tasteofreality.com/alright-mary/ www.alrightmary.com BetterHelp Promo: betterhelp.com/AlrightMary (discount code: AlrightMary)

Transcript

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0:00.0	I have a long down there, in the darkness.
0:27.0	No, Kevin, those are just his earthly remains.
0:31.0	He's among the dark angels of the realm now.
0:35.0	Fly, Colin. Fly into the Firmament.
0:47.0	Pong wouldn't like this kid.
0:49.0	You think so?
0:51.0	Yeah, you're right.
0:53.0	I'm pretty sure my son wouldn't have liked me,
0:56.0	eaten by a fucking cannibal and buried before his 18th birthday.
1:00.0	Well, you must have known him so well.
1:04.0	By the time they found Colin and that godforsaken house,
1:08.0	he looked like Lasagna with teeth.
1:12.0	I know, I had to identify the remains.
1:16.0	My boy is not in the realm of the undead.
1:20.0	He is not flying around in the Firmament on magical wings of flame.
1:26.0	He's in an overpriced rosewood box that's headed six feet downtown.
1:38.0	So, you can take your pain.
1:42.0	You can shove it up your asses, kids.
1:46.0	I cut them a knob on the on-pain.
1:58.0	You know, I'm just so pleased to say that the thing I love the most
2:02.0	that Jennifer's body is the moms of Jennifer's body.
2:08.0	The moms in Jennifer's body, for sure, are notable.
	...

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