Hello, hello, everybody.

It's your long-lost podcast appearing once again on the horizon, through the mists in the shadows.

We return to enlighten, to edify, to entertain, and yes, to make tons and tons of money.

It's election profit makers, a podcast about winning and losing money on political outcomes and current events.

Or, friends, is it something else entirely?

The future, as of yet, is unwritten.

The future of this podcast is completely unwritten. We're not sure what the future holds, but we do know one thing. We will

be holding these USB microphones and speaking into them with great enthusiasm. My name is

Kid Midas, the original Wave Rider. It almost might be time, actually, to retire that nickname now that I think about it.

But I'm joined on the line by someone who's having some kind of voice issue.

This week's episode is going to be an absolute gangbusters treat.

Friends, just wait till you hear the dulcet smoky tones of one long John Silver.

John, how are you?

Hey, buddy.

How you doing?

Oh, my gosh.

Just read Wikipedia articles for the next 45 minutes and we will all fall into an ecstasy.

My apologies.

I have no idea what's going on.

I am actually healthy. I'm not sick. I

I debated whether I should just come on and pretend like I'm sick. Because do I sound very sick?

You sound pretty normal. I don't know what's going on. It's really cold here.

...