Welcome to Just Break Up, the podcast about love, heartbreak, and all the relationship advice you don't want to hear.

My name is Sierra Dmolder.

And I'm Sam Blackwell.

And today we're going to answer a letter from somebody who found out that her ex had been saying awful things about her to her friend slash metamore.

But before we begin, we just want to give you our Surgeon General's

warning, which is that Sierra and I are not licensed mental health practitioners.

No, we are not professionals. We are not trained in any of this. So please take our advice

as you see fit. We're only here to offer our humble supplemental opinion to hopefully

shed some understanding and maybe some laughs about the

incredibly rewarding but honestly mostly confusing experience that is love all right so today's

letter comes from hurt and confused choose pronouns are she her who is writing from messy pollyville

hi sam and sierra i found your podcast a couple months ago when I was seeking advice and perspectives when

preparing for breaking up with one of my partners, he, him, will call him James.

Listening to you too was super helpful, and I went ahead with a breakup and felt good about it.

And from what has transpired since then, it has made me 1,000% sure in my decision,

but I'm having a lot of struggling feelings as I hadn't fully realized my situation.

I'm in a friend group, and this is where I had met this partner,

as well as one of my friends, they them, will call them Cam,

who was also partners with James, so he was our hinge.

For Cam and I, this had been our first relationship and experience with polyamory.

Before both of us had dated him, we had been close, but once dating's had started,

we began to talk less and less and never discussed our relationships.

...