Even healthy couples fight — the difference is how | Julie and John Gottman

TED Health

TED

Health & Fitness, Fitness, Shoshana Ungerleider, Medicine, How To Be Healthier, Ted Shoshana, Ted Talks Health

4.2 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2024

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Can conflict actually bring you and your partner closer? It depends on how you fight, say Julie and John Gottman, the world's leading relationship scientists. They share why the way couples fight can predict the future of their relationships — and show how anybody can transform conflict into an opportunity for deeper connection and understanding.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ted Audio Collective
0:09.0	This is Ted Health, a podcast from the Ted Audio Collective, and I'm your host Dr. Shoshona Ungerlighter.
0:16.6	You know those couples who just seem to have it all figured out?
0:20.7	The ones who never fight and are always happy?
0:23.0	Well, apparently they don't exist.
0:26.0	At least according to relationship experts,
0:28.0	Julie and John Gottman.
0:30.0	They've put love under the microscope for over 50 years and what they've discovered
0:35.9	might just blow your mind. Turns out maybe fighting isn't the relationship
0:41.5	killer that we thought it was. In fact, it could be the
0:45.0	secret to a happier, healthier partnership. In their talk, the Gottmans reveal the science
0:50.6	behind why some couples thrive while others fall apart.
0:55.3	Get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about love and conflict.
1:00.7	But before we dive in, a quick break to hear from our sponsors.
1:09.0	And now Julie and John Gottman take the TED stage.
1:14.0	So most of us think that fighting is bad for romantic relationships, right?
1:20.0	How many people do you know who say, hey, I had a great fight the other day?
1:27.0	Oh, yeah, my partner and I fight all the time and we're super happy.
1:33.0	52 years ago, we put love under the microscope.
1:38.0	Julie and I are the founders of the Gotman Institute and the Love Lab.
1:43.0	And we've made the study of relationships,
1:45.0	our life's work.
	...

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