Five Key Phrases to Disarm the Narcissist
Trauma & Narcissism Redefined
Caroline Strawson
4.8 • 701 Ratings
🗓️ 27 October 2020
⏱️ 16 minutes
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Summary
Today I want to share with you the five key phrases that are great to disarm the narcissist. These phrases really helped me and my clients to understand that the power is within us to heal from narcissistic abuse.
Five Key Phrases to Disarm the Narcissist:
- I'm so sorry you feel like that.
- I can accept your faulty perception of me.
- I have no right to control how you see me.
- I accept that this is how you feel.
- Your anger is not my responsibility.
Keep me posted if you're using any of these five phrases to disarm the narcissist. I would love to hear what their expressions were like, what they said back to you. Even if you don't feel these right now, remember that it's all about dis-confirming those experiences, but we have to start somewhere. So give these phrases a try.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the narcissistic abuse recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Stawson and I'll be sharing with you |
| 0:09.2 | awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive. |
| 0:16.8 | I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are now and I believe you. |
| 0:21.4 | And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation. |
| 0:30.0 | One of the key factors that I tend to find when I'm talking to people about dealing with a narcissist |
| 0:36.7 | is that feeling that you need to prove to them |
| 0:40.7 | something, validate yourself, that whatever it is that they say to you or to other people that you feel |
| 0:48.4 | like you want to go and validate yourself, justify it, try and change their opinion of you by explaining things. |
| 0:58.3 | And this is a really, really slippery slope because that's exactly what the narcissist wants. |
| 1:04.1 | The narcissist wants to engage with you. The narcissist wants you to justify, validate, |
| 1:10.5 | because then they know that they have been able to |
| 1:12.9 | gaslight you, exert that power, that manipulation, that control. And I know how hard it is, |
| 1:20.0 | believe me. I remember when I spit up from my ex-husband back in 2011, and every single thing that he would say to me or text me, this was before |
| 1:31.9 | no contact I hasten to add, I would want to reply. And if you can visualize right now, me holding my |
| 1:39.6 | mobile phone and getting that message, and I'd literally just start to type and reply and I'd be |
| 1:46.4 | pressing my phone harder and harder and harder as I was replying to him, trying to justify myself, |
| 1:52.5 | trying to change that opinion of what I thought he felt about me in that moment. I am a good |
| 1:58.2 | mum. I am a good wife. I am a good woman. All of these things that I felt |
| 2:02.8 | like he was really, really challenging me on. And it really hurt. And it made me feel upset. It made me feel |
| 2:09.5 | angry. It made me feel like I was worthless. But of course, that was why I was in the relationship with a narcissist in the first place, because we know that being in that long-term relationship with a narcissist comes from those deep inner child wounds of worthlessness. |
| 2:27.6 | I'm not lovable. |
| 2:29.0 | I'm not good enough. |
... |
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