Welcome to Darren Daly on demand, your most trusted resource to help you become better every day.

Here's your success mentor, Darren Hardy.

Top of the morning to you. Today, we're going to reach into the grab bag of questions that you all submit from time to time and see if we can work a situation

out right here this morning okay this question was written in from mark de mello mark wrote

how can we muster the courage to choose ourselves and be seen how can we grow the confidence

to stand up and be the exception okay great question mark contrary mark. Contrary to new age and self-help

lore, you can't just chant affirmations in the mirror and be confident. You can't rub crystals

or sleep under a pyramid for confidence. You can't beat your chest and quote unquote change your state

or walk on hot coals to instantly become confident that's mental masturbation

and it doesn't work it just leaves you feeling embarrassed regretful and a bit insecure confidence is earned

it is developed it is grown the most important thing to understand about confidence is it is a result

not an outcome not not a cause.

You don't start with confidence, you end up with it. No one is born confident. We're all born naked, scared, and ignorant.

Only after that treacherous beginning can one grow into confidence. Too many people want to pray, wish, hope, visualize, chant, meditate,

subliminally program their way to confidence. But that's not how it works. The definition of confidence is an

established belief and conviction in one's abilities based on prior evidence, prior results.

That means before you have confidence, you have to act.

You have to step into the fear and only then will it dissipate.

Once you do that over and over, you will then start developing skills.

Skills are only developed through the iterative process of doing, of taking action over and over.

Now, with these new skills applied to repeated action, you will start to experience results.

Aha.

...