Dr. Kim says that the only person you can control is you. You can't change your spouse, but you can change you.

Taking control of these five things will help you be your best, healthiest self,

even when your marriage feels out of control.

So, Dr. Kim, can you talk to us about how the only person you can control is you?

Yeah, I mean, it, um, sometimes it's a hard concept because I think

we feel like we, because if they would just do this, their life would be better, our marriage would

be better, you know, all this kind of stuff and you have this great deal. But you can't control

your spouse. And I think the sooner that we realize that it helps us focus on ourselves and what we

can do and what God has for us to do. And so I think when I learned that my best prayer was asking

God to help me be the best husband for Nancy instead of asking him to change her, that that was a much

better prayer. And so, and what I think

Nancy and I both learned out of that prayer is that God never will change something in me or something

in her that's not good for our marriage. And so I think when you go with that confidence, it really is

just saying, okay, I can't control anything, but God's got all the answers. And so I'm going to pray

and I'm going to let God take that role. I can't control anything, but God's got all the answers. And so I'm going to pray and I'm going to let God take that role.

I can't be Nancy's Holy Spirit.

She can't be my Holy Spirit.

That job's taken by somebody can do it a heck of a lot better.

And so I think just coming to that realization, because there's still times that I want to I think well she'd do it this way it really

would be better for her for us you know the whole thing I can still fall into that at times and I've got

to realize and sometimes I catch myself better than others sometimes I don't catch myself

very well on that and and just in little things sometimes you You know, maybe it's like, I don't know,

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