How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh? 13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap? 20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker? 33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety? 41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart? 49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well? 56:00: Recap Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well.
0:09.0	I'm Forrest Hansen.
0:10.0	If you're new to the podcast, thanks for joining us today.
0:13.0	And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:15.0	I'm joined as usual by Dr. Rick Hansen.
0:17.0	Rick is a clinical psychologist.
0:19.0	He's a best-selling author.
0:20.0	And he's also my dad.
0:20.9	So, Dad, how are you doing today? I'm really good, Forrest, and as always, I just love being here
0:25.7	with you. Ah, thanks. Likewise, Dad. I love doing this with you. Also love answering some questions
0:31.5	from our listeners. We get great questions, and today we're opening up the mailbag to answer some
0:36.7	more of them, the ones we
0:37.9	got today mostly focused on dealing with issues inside of our relationships and particularly
0:43.8	finding a kind of middle path between two competing interests or two pretty good options.
0:49.7	If you'd like to ask a question to be answered on a future episode of the podcast, you can reach us at Contact at Beingwellpodcast.com if you want to send us an email, or you can find
0:58.6	us on Patreon. It's patreon.com slash being well podcast. And dad is a longtime couple's therapist. You
1:05.9	must have been pretty into these. These questions are right in my wheelhouse. And I'll say this maybe once, so I don't have to
1:13.0	say it for each one of these mailbag questions. I find it really helpful to use empathic
1:19.2	imagination for what it's like to be each of the two people involved. What is it like to be, for
1:27.0	example, the person who's being told by your partner
1:30.0	that you're not sensitive enough, that you're over the top, you're too much for them. On the other
1:35.4	hand, what's it like to be the person who feels kind of blown out of the water by how your partner
	...

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